Faith

Like it felt like every system in my body was turning off and I was in denial.

I spent so much money having doctors tell me that I'm doing all these tests and they said it was anxiety.

And I just, I didn't believe them because the symptoms are so physical.

And I just, I don't ever want to do that again.

It was horrible.

It was absolutely horrible.

So like, I don't know how to, he got a vasectomy because I would freak out every time, every time, every month I was convinced I would read a negative pregnancy test and I would see a positive pregnancy test.

And I would, I would just melt down and melt down.

And so he got that thinking I would calm down and I, I, I have calmed down a little bit.

But then I go through these phases of like, oh my gosh, like, what are we going to do?

Like, I'm going to die if this happens.

And then at the end of all of my testing, they did find, um, cause I was having nerve pain, really bad nerve pain.

I couldn't stand up.

And they, at the end of all this testing, at the end of the year, they found a bone tumor in my pelvis.

So I really can't get pregnant.

Worst case scenario, like, you know, it's not looking good for me if I were to get pregnant.

Um, I was, uh, I was, I was in a really legalistic home that was reminiscent of a cult.

Honestly, like they, um,

like child marriage, like arranged marriages.

They, it was kind of crazy.