Faye Lane
speaker
115 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jul 2026
last heard 28 Jul
Faye Lane’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Fatty, fatty, two by four, couldn't get through the bathroom door.
When I was in the third grade, I heard that song almost every single day.
And it just about broke my heart, because what I wanted more than anything in the world was to be a beauty queen, to be special.
Because I grew up in my mother's beauty shop in Texas.
It was this old A-frame house with big mirrors and swivel chairs in the front room and shampoo bowls in the old back bedroom.
And my mom's all the same ladies week after week after week.
So it was as if I had this constant stream of overly indulgent grandmothers, which might actually kind of explain the fat thing.
Baby, you want a moon pie?
Okay.
Go look down in the bottom of my purse.
There's a banana moon pie with your name on it.
But be careful because my gun is in there and I don't know if the safety's on.
No matter how bad the teasing got at school, and it got bad, the beauty shop ladies could always make me feel better.
Well, I like teasing.
Your mama's teasing my hair right now.
In fact, if it wasn't for teasing, my hair would be just as flat as a pancake.
My favorite beauty shop lady was Miss Helen.
She would say, baby, don't you listen to those horrible children.
They're just jealous.
You're not one bit fat.
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