Fred Luskin

You know, there was a pretty strong public forum for, boy, did we do bad and this can't be hidden. So the first step is, to whatever degree possible, admit it to yourself.

if safe, admitted to anybody you've harmed, and allow oneself to feel remorse, there is literature, you know, research on the value of a sincere apology, which is, I did it, my bad, hurt you, I make that link, I'm sorry, and if I can, I won't do it again. It is hard for many of us to have the humility of a sincere apology.

if safe, admitted to anybody you've harmed, and allow oneself to feel remorse, there is literature, you know, research on the value of a sincere apology, which is, I did it, my bad, hurt you, I make that link, I'm sorry, and if I can, I won't do it again. It is hard for many of us to have the humility of a sincere apology.

if safe, admitted to anybody you've harmed, and allow oneself to feel remorse, there is literature, you know, research on the value of a sincere apology, which is, I did it, my bad, hurt you, I make that link, I'm sorry, and if I can, I won't do it again. It is hard for many of us to have the humility of a sincere apology.

The last step is taken from the wisdom of the 12-step programs, which is whenever you can, make it right. Make amends. Now, if the person that you've harmed is just you, like you didn't harm anybody else, but You got drunk or you had a ridiculous sexual escapade that harmed your life. It's helpful to share with one or two trusted people as an offering.

The last step is taken from the wisdom of the 12-step programs, which is whenever you can, make it right. Make amends. Now, if the person that you've harmed is just you, like you didn't harm anybody else, but You got drunk or you had a ridiculous sexual escapade that harmed your life. It's helpful to share with one or two trusted people as an offering.

The last step is taken from the wisdom of the 12-step programs, which is whenever you can, make it right. Make amends. Now, if the person that you've harmed is just you, like you didn't harm anybody else, but You got drunk or you had a ridiculous sexual escapade that harmed your life. It's helpful to share with one or two trusted people as an offering.

You do make a kind of inner mea culpa, but the amends is you make sure it doesn't happen again. You go to therapy, you go to 12 step programs, you take classes in anger management, whatever it is, but you need to do something positive. When those preconditions are met, you have absolutely no need for negative self-talk or bad feelings. You have done the basic requirements of self-forgiveness.

You do make a kind of inner mea culpa, but the amends is you make sure it doesn't happen again. You go to therapy, you go to 12 step programs, you take classes in anger management, whatever it is, but you need to do something positive. When those preconditions are met, you have absolutely no need for negative self-talk or bad feelings. You have done the basic requirements of self-forgiveness.

You do make a kind of inner mea culpa, but the amends is you make sure it doesn't happen again. You go to therapy, you go to 12 step programs, you take classes in anger management, whatever it is, but you need to do something positive. When those preconditions are met, you have absolutely no need for negative self-talk or bad feelings. You have done the basic requirements of self-forgiveness.

If you have to, you go see a therapist for a couple sessions. But you do not need at all that negative emotion once you've done those steps.

If you have to, you go see a therapist for a couple sessions. But you do not need at all that negative emotion once you've done those steps.

If you have to, you go see a therapist for a couple sessions. But you do not need at all that negative emotion once you've done those steps.

I mean, that is a very tough situation when somebody feels genuine remorse, wants to make it right, and is stymied. I have heard that multiple times. You know, there's two things that come to my mind immediately. One is some degree of self-examination. What was it that led me to not be there when they needed me? Is there something character or logic in me? Was I frightened? Was I preoccupied?

I mean, that is a very tough situation when somebody feels genuine remorse, wants to make it right, and is stymied. I have heard that multiple times. You know, there's two things that come to my mind immediately. One is some degree of self-examination. What was it that led me to not be there when they needed me? Is there something character or logic in me? Was I frightened? Was I preoccupied?

I mean, that is a very tough situation when somebody feels genuine remorse, wants to make it right, and is stymied. I have heard that multiple times. You know, there's two things that come to my mind immediately. One is some degree of self-examination. What was it that led me to not be there when they needed me? Is there something character or logic in me? Was I frightened? Was I preoccupied?

What was the flaw or weakness in me so that I can address it Or I can show this person deep vulnerability and reflection when I talk to them. Not just that I'm sorry, but it caused me to recognize how hard something like this is. Or, wow, I really struggle when somebody's needs are way bigger than mine. I may not always hear at the moment the depth of somebody's pain.

What was the flaw or weakness in me so that I can address it Or I can show this person deep vulnerability and reflection when I talk to them. Not just that I'm sorry, but it caused me to recognize how hard something like this is. Or, wow, I really struggle when somebody's needs are way bigger than mine. I may not always hear at the moment the depth of somebody's pain.

What was the flaw or weakness in me so that I can address it Or I can show this person deep vulnerability and reflection when I talk to them. Not just that I'm sorry, but it caused me to recognize how hard something like this is. Or, wow, I really struggle when somebody's needs are way bigger than mine. I may not always hear at the moment the depth of somebody's pain.

That would be one, you know, first of all, it helps her. But secondly, it creates a shared pain. The second thing is sometimes we can't turn back time. And there is a forgiveness element there that, you know, it's up to you. And I respect as best I can how you deal with your suffering. The third piece is now that I have learned this about the dangers, or even if I didn't do anything deliberately,