Gabby Bernstein

Or if a bad thing is happening, there's a part of us that's like, loves that victim mentality. Or just living normal life, there's parts of us that will just control everything or be obsessing over some kind of obsession because we don't want to feel something else. And so have you ever said, Jamie, that there's a part of me that does X, Y, Z when this happens?

Or if a bad thing is happening, there's a part of us that's like, loves that victim mentality. Or just living normal life, there's parts of us that will just control everything or be obsessing over some kind of obsession because we don't want to feel something else. And so have you ever said, Jamie, that there's a part of me that does X, Y, Z when this happens?

Do you have an example of that?

Do you have an example of that?

How can I control something when everything else is out of control? Yeah. Very familiar for most entrepreneurs, right? Is we seek control to feel safe. And so I had a controller part, which I'll just call it a part of me. And that part of me had been around for many, many years, right? And it was trying to keep me safe ultimately, but it was creating a lot of issues, right?

How can I control something when everything else is out of control? Yeah. Very familiar for most entrepreneurs, right? Is we seek control to feel safe. And so I had a controller part, which I'll just call it a part of me. And that part of me had been around for many, many years, right? And it was trying to keep me safe ultimately, but it was creating a lot of issues, right?

So it might've been a little aggressive at work or it might've been a little bit obsessive about things or making things difficult in my marriage. And that controller really ran the show for most of my life. In fact, at one point it was so need to control was so extreme that it turned to drugs to create that control, right? And so that control is actually a protection mechanism.

So it might've been a little aggressive at work or it might've been a little bit obsessive about things or making things difficult in my marriage. And that controller really ran the show for most of my life. In fact, at one point it was so need to control was so extreme that it turned to drugs to create that control, right? And so that control is actually a protection mechanism.

And who is that control protecting? For me, that control protection mechanism has most of my, throughout my life, the majority of my life, been protecting the little girl who experienced trauma as a child and had nowhere to go with it. And the only way that she could survive was to try to control the experiences and control the life that felt so out of control.

And who is that control protecting? For me, that control protection mechanism has most of my, throughout my life, the majority of my life, been protecting the little girl who experienced trauma as a child and had nowhere to go with it. And the only way that she could survive was to try to control the experiences and control the life that felt so out of control.

And as a little girl, I did it by freaking out about my pigtails not being straight. And as a teenager, I did it by being completely anxious and trying to make all the plans and know every plan. And as a 20-year-old, I was doing it through cocaine and relationships and just controlling all of the outcomes in my work. And then in my late 20s and 30s, I did it through my work.

And as a little girl, I did it by freaking out about my pigtails not being straight. And as a teenager, I did it by being completely anxious and trying to make all the plans and know every plan. And as a 20-year-old, I was doing it through cocaine and relationships and just controlling all of the outcomes in my work. And then in my late 20s and 30s, I did it through my work.

And so that controller... isn't a bad part of who I am. It's not a bad quality. It's a protection mechanism. And so throughout this book, I'm helping the reader recognize that these extreme patterns and behaviors that we have, whether it's binging or drugs or alcohol or control or- Busyness. Busyness or rage or checking out with Netflix or dissociation or even things that might be seemingly

And so that controller... isn't a bad part of who I am. It's not a bad quality. It's a protection mechanism. And so throughout this book, I'm helping the reader recognize that these extreme patterns and behaviors that we have, whether it's binging or drugs or alcohol or control or- Busyness. Busyness or rage or checking out with Netflix or dissociation or even things that might be seemingly

Great, right? Those of us who are really big workers, workaholism is something that's praised in our society, but it's actually a protection mechanism, right? Because if I'm working, I don't have to feel those impermissible feelings. Or if I'm in control, I don't have to feel that things are out of control, or I don't have to feel the fear.

Great, right? Those of us who are really big workers, workaholism is something that's praised in our society, but it's actually a protection mechanism, right? Because if I'm working, I don't have to feel those impermissible feelings. Or if I'm in control, I don't have to feel that things are out of control, or I don't have to feel the fear.

And so there's young exiled parts of us that were traumatized as children, and they were never tended to, and we shut them down. We say, I never want to feel that again. It could also be in adult experiences, like if someone's had violence or if they've lived through a catastrophic event, they exile those feelings. I never want to feel that again.

And so there's young exiled parts of us that were traumatized as children, and they were never tended to, and we shut them down. We say, I never want to feel that again. It could also be in adult experiences, like if someone's had violence or if they've lived through a catastrophic event, they exile those feelings. I never want to feel that again.

And so I'm going to, even spiritually bypassing as a protector. And I'm calling it, it's a protection mechanism, but for the sake of the book, I'm calling it a protector part. It's a part of you. And so we have all these parts of us inside that are managing these big feelings, the little children. And so what do we do?

And so I'm going to, even spiritually bypassing as a protector. And I'm calling it, it's a protection mechanism, but for the sake of the book, I'm calling it a protector part. It's a part of you. And so we have all these parts of us inside that are managing these big feelings, the little children. And so what do we do?