Gabby Bernstein

And the four-step practice is exactly what I've already begun to share, right? In IFS, we were taught that we have these young children, these little experiences that were so, these extreme experiences to little parts of ourselves, any type of experience that was too big for us to handle, and we exile it. So that's called the exiles.

And the four-step practice is exactly what I've already begun to share, right? In IFS, we were taught that we have these young children, these little experiences that were so, these extreme experiences to little parts of ourselves, any type of experience that was too big for us to handle, and we exile it. So that's called the exiles.

There's little people inside that we don't want to feel those feelings ever again. And then we build up the protectors, all the protection mechanisms. We talked about them binging, overworking, controlling, all the stories. And we live our lives and we're just like, why do I have chronic pain? Or why do I have anxiety all the time? Or why am I ruining my marriage?

There's little people inside that we don't want to feel those feelings ever again. And then we build up the protectors, all the protection mechanisms. We talked about them binging, overworking, controlling, all the stories. And we live our lives and we're just like, why do I have chronic pain? Or why do I have anxiety all the time? Or why am I ruining my marriage?

Or why am I making everybody at my job hate me? Or maybe we don't even ask the why. We're just sort of like, well, this is who I am and I deserve to be like this. And we're very righteous about these behaviors. Or we are struck in really deep addiction and we just don't know how to get out. And these extreme patterns take over our lives and they become so much part of our identity.

Or why am I making everybody at my job hate me? Or maybe we don't even ask the why. We're just sort of like, well, this is who I am and I deserve to be like this. And we're very righteous about these behaviors. Or we are struck in really deep addiction and we just don't know how to get out. And these extreme patterns take over our lives and they become so much part of our identity.

We think that's who we are. But I'm here to tell everyone that these are just parts of who you are that are working really, really hard to numb impermissible feelings from your past.

We think that's who we are. But I'm here to tell everyone that these are just parts of who you are that are working really, really hard to numb impermissible feelings from your past.

And my addiction, she worked hard. That addictive part worked really hard to push it down. The workaholics, she worked really hard. And they're not bad parts of us. They've just been put into extreme roles. And so the work in this four-step practice is to bring self-energy, right? So we talked about earlier that God energy, that spiritual presence.

And my addiction, she worked hard. That addictive part worked really hard to push it down. The workaholics, she worked really hard. And they're not bad parts of us. They've just been put into extreme roles. And so the work in this four-step practice is to bring self-energy, right? So we talked about earlier that God energy, that spiritual presence.

And self-energy is that inner parent inside of us, the God within us, the love within us, the truth within us, is to connect to these younger parts from that self-energy. And so self, to just simplify it, is just sort of this energy of these C qualities. So calm, courage, creativity, curiosity, connectedness, compassion, and confidence.

And self-energy is that inner parent inside of us, the God within us, the love within us, the truth within us, is to connect to these younger parts from that self-energy. And so self, to just simplify it, is just sort of this energy of these C qualities. So calm, courage, creativity, curiosity, connectedness, compassion, and confidence.

These C qualities that we have when we're in our resourced self. And so the steps are based on these qualities and extending these qualities to these young protection mechanisms inside of us. So let's say you woke up this morning, Jamie, and you were like, I'm in that controller part. Okay, she's trying to get everything done. She's making me a little crazy or, you know, I'm feeling it.

These C qualities that we have when we're in our resourced self. And so the steps are based on these qualities and extending these qualities to these young protection mechanisms inside of us. So let's say you woke up this morning, Jamie, and you were like, I'm in that controller part. Okay, she's trying to get everything done. She's making me a little crazy or, you know, I'm feeling it.

You could practice it like this. You could say, I'm going to choose to check in. That's step one. I'm going to choose to check in. And that's really important. The choice is important because like any little child, if you try to force them to tell you what's going on, they'll be like, no, mommy, you know? So you have to just make sure like, am I in the mood to do this right now? Okay.

You could practice it like this. You could say, I'm going to choose to check in. That's step one. I'm going to choose to check in. And that's really important. The choice is important because like any little child, if you try to force them to tell you what's going on, they'll be like, no, mommy, you know? So you have to just make sure like, am I in the mood to do this right now? Okay.

So choose to check in. And that's when you just get a yes inside, like, okay, I can do this. And you focus your attention inward. The second step is just curiosity. So offering curiosity questions to that feeling, or maybe you call it the controller. Maybe you just have a feeling inside and you just start noticing that experience inside and you start asking it questions.

So choose to check in. And that's when you just get a yes inside, like, okay, I can do this. And you focus your attention inward. The second step is just curiosity. So offering curiosity questions to that feeling, or maybe you call it the controller. Maybe you just have a feeling inside and you just start noticing that experience inside and you start asking it questions.

So, okay, what images or thoughts or sensations do you want me to see right now? Or how old are you? Or is there a shape that you are? Is there an energy that you are in my body? Or where do I hold this feeling in my body? And why do you ask it questions? You want to become curious instead of overriding this part and just pushing past it and checking out more. You check in.

So, okay, what images or thoughts or sensations do you want me to see right now? Or how old are you? Or is there a shape that you are? Is there an energy that you are in my body? Or where do I hold this feeling in my body? And why do you ask it questions? You want to become curious instead of overriding this part and just pushing past it and checking out more. You check in.