Gabby Bernstein

Or in the case of you and me, we don't have anyone to tell.

Or in the case of you and me, we don't have anyone to tell.

Right, or we're too afraid to tell.

Right, or we're too afraid to tell.

Or in my case, I dissociated, didn't even have the memory, right? And so what do we do? We build up protection mechanisms. For me, one of those protection mechanisms was straight up dissociation, like left my body, like dissociated from reality. For others, it could be, and this is young, at a young, young age, you know, it could be, okay, this thing happened to you as a child.

Or in my case, I dissociated, didn't even have the memory, right? And so what do we do? We build up protection mechanisms. For me, one of those protection mechanisms was straight up dissociation, like left my body, like dissociated from reality. For others, it could be, and this is young, at a young, young age, you know, it could be, okay, this thing happened to you as a child.

And all of a sudden you go into this extreme protection mechanism of trying to be perfect because you had this shameful experience. So perfection makes you feel safe. Or give my son for an example. I have a six-year-old son. When he was three years old, he was in a Montessori program. And so it was three to six-year-olds. There was a six-year-old in his class and he was just out of diapers.

And all of a sudden you go into this extreme protection mechanism of trying to be perfect because you had this shameful experience. So perfection makes you feel safe. Or give my son for an example. I have a six-year-old son. When he was three years old, he was in a Montessori program. And so it was three to six-year-olds. There was a six-year-old in his class and he was just out of diapers.

And that six-year-old was sort of like, you know, who is this three-year-old? I don't want anything to do with him. I mean, it was just kind of bossy to him. And at a very young age, all they learned, like, I got to be the boss because that was so extreme. This kid is bigger. I want to be like him. He hates me. He tells me he hates me. He tells me to leave him alone, which kids are mean.

And that six-year-old was sort of like, you know, who is this three-year-old? I don't want anything to do with him. I mean, it was just kind of bossy to him. And at a very young age, all they learned, like, I got to be the boss because that was so extreme. This kid is bigger. I want to be like him. He hates me. He tells me he hates me. He tells me to leave him alone, which kids are mean.

But my little boy has this thing of I got to be the boss. So he's got this misguided belief I need to be a boss. So what does he do?

But my little boy has this thing of I got to be the boss. So he's got this misguided belief I need to be a boss. So what does he do?

Walks around with his Nerf gun, you know, and he walks around like, like with his, like his shooter and he's like, I'm the boss, you know, this is like little innocent six year old, but he wants to be the boss because he's protecting himself from that feeling from three years old. Okay. I watched this whole part develop in a person. So an extreme thing happens, big or small.

Walks around with his Nerf gun, you know, and he walks around like, like with his, like his shooter and he's like, I'm the boss, you know, this is like little innocent six year old, but he wants to be the boss because he's protecting himself from that feeling from three years old. Okay. I watched this whole part develop in a person. So an extreme thing happens, big or small.

In the case of Ollie, it was a six year old, right? In the case of me, it was, it was something much more extreme. Hopefully Holly never has to experience that. But whatever it is, we have extreme experiences and we exile them. We exile them. Those are called exiled parts of us.

In the case of Ollie, it was a six year old, right? In the case of me, it was, it was something much more extreme. Hopefully Holly never has to experience that. But whatever it is, we have extreme experiences and we exile them. We exile them. Those are called exiled parts of us.

These are the little, young, traumatized children that had nowhere to go, no one to care for them, no one to support them. And we said, I'm going to lock that up, send them into the basement, don't ever talk to that person, see that part of me ever again. And at three years old, five years old, whatever it is, we start to decide, I'm going to do this to protect myself from feeling this.

These are the little, young, traumatized children that had nowhere to go, no one to care for them, no one to support them. And we said, I'm going to lock that up, send them into the basement, don't ever talk to that person, see that part of me ever again. And at three years old, five years old, whatever it is, we start to decide, I'm going to do this to protect myself from feeling this.

So Ollie's the perfect example. I got bullied. I'm going to start to be the boss so that I never have to feel that fear again of that bullying.

So Ollie's the perfect example. I got bullied. I'm going to start to be the boss so that I never have to feel that fear again of that bullying.