Gabby Windey

But this I would boycott out of principle, for I have integrity, and I'm still getting residuals from the people who keep rewatching my season of Traders, so please keep going.

I could be making $26 a watch.

Tell your friends, tell your parents, tell your boyfriends, please, you miss me.

That's what you all say, but you're probably saying it to everyone, aren't ya?

You don't just miss me.

You miss Dylan.

You miss Boston Rob.

You miss Bob the Drag Queen, don't ya?

Well, besides that, I have reason to believe those YouTube numbers on TPUSA of their dingy halftime show are inflated and it's so obvious because the views went up by millions, by millions before the game was over.

Love cannot be bought.

I curse you and your ratty rose.

Erica Kirk with a K and a K. You're just missing one K. You sit crazy-eyed, leaning towards the scam of a website, inputting your credit card, inputting your credit card, eyes bleeding by the time you're done buying views, and you failed, you prodigal lady of Teemu.

I'm watching you like a hawk.

Era, double K, Kirk.

Because, like I said, before the game was even over, this fake video had 17 million views.

What?

What?

And how?

And only like 46,000 comments.

The math ain't mathing.