Gabby Windey

This is all about targeting and marketing towards women who have cellulite, which is basically all of us.

If you take a microscope and look around, you're going to find some, which is me.

Plus, I hadn't worked out in three years, so naturally, like, my legs are going to change, but why don't I do a fucking lunge for once?

And it's ruining our lives because we're so desperate to be perfect as women.

Because society says we're not good enough unless we have nair smooth legs with no dimples and no natural fat.

Here comes in the fascia blaster.

Because we must be perfect to have self-respect and run around the house naked, tits out, without a sign of adipose tissue.

You're basically levitating without the cellulite.

What is going to help?

Oh, the fascia blaster.

Wrong.

Now it's weighing you down like a bag of bricks that you want to hit upon your head time and time and time again.

So at the very least, you'll get amnesia and we'll forget everything.

And at the very most, you'll be dead.

Even though cellulite came about to store fat as women so we can feed our babies.

Another blight for us.

A potato famine for the pussy.

A disease for being born with a uterus and ovaries and fatty areolas in which we had no choice so we can feed the world and the perverted men in our lives who judge us for the cellulite.

So, you know, I did.

I tried to search.