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Gabby Windey

👤 Person
3633 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone, but I don't think I am. The aughts are back. The early 2000s are back. And the 90s, let's not go any further than back. We do not need the 80s. They had no idea what was going on with their hair. Admittedly, sometimes in the morning, I do look like the lead singer of Van Halen with the middle part. It's terrifying.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone, but I don't think I am. The aughts are back. The early 2000s are back. And the 90s, let's not go any further than back. We do not need the 80s. They had no idea what was going on with their hair. Admittedly, sometimes in the morning, I do look like the lead singer of Van Halen with the middle part. It's terrifying.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone, but I don't think I am. The aughts are back. The early 2000s are back. And the 90s, let's not go any further than back. We do not need the 80s. They had no idea what was going on with their hair. Admittedly, sometimes in the morning, I do look like the lead singer of Van Halen with the middle part. It's terrifying.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

But as I give my blowout in bed, I'd like to sit on something of a latex non... I don't know which kind of mattress pad. It's the kind I need because I'm still sleeping on the mattress I got as a nurse. And it's very firm. It's all I could afford. But it's doing great with the mattress pad. The one that is good for the environment. Unlike you.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

But as I give my blowout in bed, I'd like to sit on something of a latex non... I don't know which kind of mattress pad. It's the kind I need because I'm still sleeping on the mattress I got as a nurse. And it's very firm. It's all I could afford. But it's doing great with the mattress pad. The one that is good for the environment. Unlike you.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

But as I give my blowout in bed, I'd like to sit on something of a latex non... I don't know which kind of mattress pad. It's the kind I need because I'm still sleeping on the mattress I got as a nurse. And it's very firm. It's all I could afford. But it's doing great with the mattress pad. The one that is good for the environment. Unlike you.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

What have you done with your CO2 emissions by breathing? You know, you breathe off CO2. So... So if you wanted to do something, if you wanted to stay green, you could hold your breath for a second. But I bet you won't. I bet you won't do us one favor and breathe a little slower and know when you talk, it's extra emissions. So don't even think about that.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

What have you done with your CO2 emissions by breathing? You know, you breathe off CO2. So... So if you wanted to do something, if you wanted to stay green, you could hold your breath for a second. But I bet you won't. I bet you won't do us one favor and breathe a little slower and know when you talk, it's extra emissions. So don't even think about that.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

What have you done with your CO2 emissions by breathing? You know, you breathe off CO2. So... So if you wanted to do something, if you wanted to stay green, you could hold your breath for a second. But I bet you won't. I bet you won't do us one favor and breathe a little slower and know when you talk, it's extra emissions. So don't even think about that.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

You need a compartment for your baby lying next to you so you can have her out when you want and put her away when necessary. This is the accessible bed. And it is a million dollars with insurance because I am looking to retire. And ah, yes, the pleasure centers. Ah, yes, you don't have any of those because of the way you were born maybe in the first 10 to 15 to 20 years of your life.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

You need a compartment for your baby lying next to you so you can have her out when you want and put her away when necessary. This is the accessible bed. And it is a million dollars with insurance because I am looking to retire. And ah, yes, the pleasure centers. Ah, yes, you don't have any of those because of the way you were born maybe in the first 10 to 15 to 20 years of your life.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

You need a compartment for your baby lying next to you so you can have her out when you want and put her away when necessary. This is the accessible bed. And it is a million dollars with insurance because I am looking to retire. And ah, yes, the pleasure centers. Ah, yes, you don't have any of those because of the way you were born maybe in the first 10 to 15 to 20 years of your life.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

It has nothing to do with the oppression that comes with two medium-sized titties. And a pussy hole has nothing to do. That has nothing to do with the capitalism that I am promoting. Because if I'm not the victim, I'm going to be the perpetrator. And I am the both. The victim and the perp. Can't wrap your head around that one, can you? It's hard. It's really hard.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

It has nothing to do with the oppression that comes with two medium-sized titties. And a pussy hole has nothing to do. That has nothing to do with the capitalism that I am promoting. Because if I'm not the victim, I'm going to be the perpetrator. And I am the both. The victim and the perp. Can't wrap your head around that one, can you? It's hard. It's really hard.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

It has nothing to do with the oppression that comes with two medium-sized titties. And a pussy hole has nothing to do. That has nothing to do with the capitalism that I am promoting. Because if I'm not the victim, I'm going to be the perpetrator. And I am the both. The victim and the perp. Can't wrap your head around that one, can you? It's hard. It's really hard.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

because the capitalism got you down because this is, if I acquire one more thing, it will save me. I need that kohl eyeliner because I got a tight line. They say, come on, Gabby, just let me tight line. No, I want my eyes to look bigger. I can't be sick, but they say I got to try. So I got one from Ulta. I am a capitalist. Don't even get me started on the non-retinol retinol cream.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

because the capitalism got you down because this is, if I acquire one more thing, it will save me. I need that kohl eyeliner because I got a tight line. They say, come on, Gabby, just let me tight line. No, I want my eyes to look bigger. I can't be sick, but they say I got to try. So I got one from Ulta. I am a capitalist. Don't even get me started on the non-retinol retinol cream.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

because the capitalism got you down because this is, if I acquire one more thing, it will save me. I need that kohl eyeliner because I got a tight line. They say, come on, Gabby, just let me tight line. No, I want my eyes to look bigger. I can't be sick, but they say I got to try. So I got one from Ulta. I am a capitalist. Don't even get me started on the non-retinol retinol cream.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

That's going to save me from aging. Read the beauty standards that were placed on me. All for. All because. Of the two titties I was born with that I have to watch sag by the day, they will point downwards at some point in my life. And who do I have to thank for that? Adam. Because he was always the problem in Adam and Eve. Why can't we just blame him for everything for anyways? I must retire.

Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Details of Mr President's spray tan and the elusive prostate exam

That's going to save me from aging. Read the beauty standards that were placed on me. All for. All because. Of the two titties I was born with that I have to watch sag by the day, they will point downwards at some point in my life. And who do I have to thank for that? Adam. Because he was always the problem in Adam and Eve. Why can't we just blame him for everything for anyways? I must retire.