Gabriel Mizrahi

My husband and I began to notice a pattern where my brothers and their families always seemed to come first in planning visits or gatherings, and we were expected to adjust around them.

We were rarely invited to my dad and stepmother's home, which is about 20 minutes from us, unless one of my brothers was already planning to be there.

There were also occasions where plans with me were cancelled at the last minute if one of my brothers decided to visit instead.

And there were small but painful moments, for example, once we were invited over specifically for my birthday, but my stepmother happily announced that the meal and dessert were my brother's favorites.

Boo!

Over time, these things added up and both my husband and I began to feel like we were more of an afterthought than part of the core family unit.

Then, in 2020, during the early COVID period, everything came to a head.

My husband has a heart condition, so we were extremely cautious and limiting contact, while the rest of the family was still regularly gathering.

Around that time, there was also tension after I made a poorly worded comment to a sister-in-law about her involvement in beauty pageants, which I personally find demeaning to women.

I later apologized and tried to clarify that I simply didn't understand that world, not that I meant to insult her.

That Thanksgiving, my husband and I were excluded from the family gathering at one of my brother's homes.

Oof.

Ouch.

Yikes.

Interesting fight, that is.

It depends how much you love beauty pageants, I guess.

Maybe the sister-in-law is really passionate about them.

So what tells me beauty pageants are more loaded for this family for some reason?

You sweet, sweet summer podcaster.

Yeah.