Gary Gulman

The football team actually has counseling services set up for anybody who needs it.

And when he gets back to school, Gary meets with the therapist.

We asked him a lot of questions.

And he said, point blank, he said, why don't you just quit the football team?

And I, like, that was ludicrous to me.

And the way I would explain it now is you have to understand my entire identity is wrapped up in this.

And if I quit, I will be proving the voice in my head that keeps telling me I'm weak and soft and worthless right.

So he made it through the season.

The doctor prescribed him antidepressants, and the sadness and ruminations lifted.

And in the spring, Gary's therapist asked, what are you going to do about football for next year?

And Gary was like, I'll continue until I graduate.

And he said, listen, I never give advice.

It's not my place to give advice, but I'm going to give you some advice.

You need to quit the football team.

I said, if I quit the football team, I don't get to wear the uniform.

I don't get to wear that jacket that gets me special treatment in the cafeteria and makes me interesting to the other students and the professors.

I said, if I'm not a football player, then who am I?

And he said, and I'll never forget it, the best answer, he said, you'll be a man.

But he didn't mean it, you'll be masculine, you'll be macho.

He meant, you'll be an adult.