Gavin de Becker

And I want to give you my definition of healing in this context.

My definition of healing for all of us is when we stop using any of our energy to manage the past.

And this gives us all of our energy in the present moment.

And so what do I mean using energy to manage the past?

Well, if I'm keeping that story going and I'm saying to my wife, well, because my mama did this, this is why I feel such and such, which I went through times in my life when those things were much closer to me.

Today, I feel like I'm not using any of my energy to manage the past, the narrative I told you.

This whole series of

of dramas happened.

And anytime you hear about a parent or anybody in somebody's life committing suicide, we often think, oh, what a terrible experience that must have been.

What you really ought to think when you hear about somebody committing suicide is, oh, what a series of terrible experiences there must have been leading up to that.

And I want to tell you real quickly that I had a couple of dreams that my mother was in that were particularly powerful.

And I offer this to the audience to know that dream experiences are sometimes all you're going to get.

Because my mother died when I was 16, so I don't have an opportunity to sit across the table with her and say, what were you thinking when you such and such?

And what was going on in your life when such and such?

But in a dream, she came to me once and I asked her, why were you so cruel to me?

And she was totally perplexed.

And she said to me, cruel to you?

I was preparing you for this extraordinary life.

And I think that's true.

I think that's what happened is that for you, whatever your experience was, for Tony Robbins, who we talked about earlier, what his experience was, it took those experiences.