Gemma Spake

It doesn't know what that situation meant.

So we fill in the blanks with the most egocentric answers possible.

The one, the answer that puts our actions and our words at the center.

I was boring.

I said something wrong.

I wasn't cool enough.

It's very egotistical, like I said.

And there's no wonder, you know, we've spoken about this on the podcast before, but we know from research that social rejection literally hurts us physically.

But it will hurt you less when you focus on the reasons that have nothing to do with you at all.

And you actually stop putting yourself at the center here.

If you did get a reply but then communication drops off, you know what?

Yeah, they could be dating somebody else, they could also be overwhelmed, they could be dealing with personal stuff, they could realize they're not over their ex, they maybe are just thoughtless, maybe they just wanted a bit of validation.

Who cares?

Who cares?

There are so many explanations that have nothing to do with you.

Learn to ignore everything but the positive experiences.

However you want to sell it to yourself.

On the apps, the barrier to matching with somebody is so tiny you can literally do it in a second.

So you have to remember like the perceived cost of just disappearing is also really small.

People don't think about it.