Gemma Spake

For example, you might think I'm terrified to move, I'm terrified to start over, but also I'm slightly curious.

I'm really excited for who I might become.

You might think leaving this relationship is going to absolutely destroy me.

My life is going to be over.

But also, I'm a tiny bit hopeful about the opportunities I'm going to have to meet new people on the other side.

Even better, if you want something super practical, you could do this literally right now, super practical.

For every way you think that change, for every way you think this is going to go wrong, for every bad thing you think change is going to bring into your life, write a list of the five ways it could go right or the five reasons that you'll be okay even if it doesn't.

literally counteract it as much as you physically can with an overwhelming kind of wall of optimism and positivity and just possibility as well you know why i love this tip i love this tip because it proves that you can overthink the good stuff as well you can overthink the positives as much as you can overthink the negatives

Another tip on top of this that I also swear by is when I am at like the precipice of a change and I'm like, oh my God, should I do this?

Should I not do this?

I just imagine telling the story of this very moment where I make the decision in five or 10 years time.

And I imagine telling it as a success story.

I imagine it.

as me sitting around a dinner table being like this was the beginning this is where i this was my origin story this was the rise this moment right here the one i'm most afraid in is the one i'm going to come back to time and time again there's a lot of research on post-traumatic growth and also on major life transitions that suggest that we cope better with upheaval we cope better with

things going wrong or with change, when we can place it into a story about what our lives are for and the purpose we are living and the journey we are taking.

When you create a narrative about who you could be as the result of what's happening to you right now or what might be happening for you in the future and you reframe that change as a process that is happening to you, for you, in your favor rather than against you,

It suddenly feels like this is the most natural thing in the world.

You have to do this.

I also think, you know, if you want a good story, if you want a good origin story about your life, you've got to build it.

You've got to make it.