Gemma Spake

They might not do a lot of the practical load.

They do a lot of the emotional load.

So there's upsides and downsides with each role.

The third role I often see is what I call the wild card or the energy bringer.

These are the people that are just essentially the chaos.

Like they always have an outrageous story.

They always make the last minute plans.

They always have the unhinged voice notes.

They might be less practically consistent, less emotionally consistent, but they are a source of what I would say is a huge amount of the group's fun, spontaneity, maybe even entertainment.

Now, of course, these roles can overlap.

The organizer might also be the emotional anchor sometimes.

The wild card might also be the bridge builder or the organizer.

In a healthy trio, these roles are actually shared around.

So there isn't one person doing all the emotional work all the time or all the planning all the time.

But we tend to kind of fall into, if you're in a friendship trio, one of these three groups.

And this dynamic can explain why trios exist.

can actually feel so comforting when they are working because, you know, everybody is kind of playing their part.

It also kind of explains why small changes can feel really impactful because, you know, this entire social equilibrium will start to feel imbalanced if one person is angry or frustrated and stops playing their role.

You know, if the planner suddenly stops planning, things are going to fall apart.

If the energy giver gives too much chaos, everybody else is going to be frustrated.