Gemma Speig
speaker
1,085 appearances
3 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2026
last heard 7 May
Gemma Speig’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 2.
Appearances
What you lose when you do so and what you gain when you decide and in fact practice and rehearse this idea and this principle that not everybody has to like you.
And why...
you know finally I think that that probably means you're doing something right because this might be a controversial take but I genuinely think that people who are liked by everyone are rather boring and that is not you that is certainly not you so if you can embrace like the power of being disliked and what that means for your identity and what that says about your character I think that you will become a much more interesting fun and wonderful human being so that is what we are going to discuss today without further ado let's get into it
So to begin with a very simple principle and a very simple understanding, why do we feel the need to be liked so deeply by absolutely everyone when we know that that is in fact probably not going to happen?
The most simple explanation is that
we are and have always been safest in a group.
I know that this explanation has been done a million times over, but when we can rely upon others around us to support our individual needs,
because they like us, because they see us as one of them, because there is reciprocity, we are better primed to survive in the long run and to be fulfilled.
There is this evolutionary instinctual drive to return back to the herd for better and for worse.
And that has been embedded in us since the very beginning.
Because the herd, the herd represents a strong system that we can predict, a system where we feel least susceptible to threats and also the danger emotionally, physically, mentally of having to go at things alone.
So much of our behavior as humans is determined by our desire to attach.
And our desire to be liked.
And anybody who says otherwise, anybody who says they don't care, who says they are completely unaffected by others' opinions are lying.
Because to feel that way would be to deny the very nature of your humanity and what it means to be human.
We know this is a fundamental drive.
We know the desire to be liked is a fundamental drive because we feel it when it's not met.
Specifically, when we don't feel accepted, we feel lonely.
And loneliness sits parallel to things like hunger and thirst and tiredness.
It is an emotion, yes, but it is also a biological sign that something we need for functioning, in this case, social acceptance, is not being met.
Showing 401–420 of 1,085 · page 21 of 55
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