Gemma Speig
speaker
1,085 appearances
3 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2026
last heard 7 May
Gemma Speig’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 2.
Appearances
Relationship hopping, though, is seeking relationships that will be something meaningful for you.
And it's this state, emotional state, where being single is like completely intolerable.
And you really do require a relationship for...
emotional stability a sense of emotional and self-centeredness not self-centeredness in like the egotistical way but like self-stability in a way and you don't know who you are or what to do without it again this isn't some moral flaw or something that you should be ashamed of but you should be aware of it because maybe it is causing you to make rash dating or relationship decisions you otherwise wouldn't and I honestly think that most of the time
at its minimum, at its lowest, it is causing you to miss out on the deep, deep self-discovery that you get from being alone for a while and the privilege that you get from being single, especially during your 20s.
so a big question you may be asking is again why am I like this why are some people like this this is where attachment theory comes in but not as you know it without giving you like the whole rundown of like all the different attachment styles because I feel like that's been done to death let me just say this attachment is essentially just your unique blueprint for how you respond to closeness how you respond to love how you respond to uncertainty and how you respond to emotional threats inside and outside of relationships so
people with anxious attachment styles are often more likely to be serial monogamous.
We know that's probably because they struggle with the fear of abandonment.
They struggle with the idea that somebody could leave them.
So having a label is really comforting.
But another influential idea coming from these researchers in the 80s, their names were Cassidy and Kobach.
Basically, what they thought was that
Anxious attached people, they often use hyper activating strategies to self-soothe, whereas avoidant people use under activating strategies to self-soothe.
So essentially, people who are anxious make themselves feel better.
by turning up the volume and turning up the intensity of a relationship, reassurance seeking, forcing urgency, forcing proximity, putting more focus on the relationship as the solution to their discomfort, whereas people who are avoidant want to turn all of that down.
Seeking proximity, seeking deep intimacy, sometimes with whoever comes through the door first, it is a self-regulating strategy.
Because when we feel dangerous or we feel uncertain about the future, when we feel uncertain about whether we'll find love again, whether we'll be lonely, whether we'll be
whether we'll find peace.
It's very easy to put off thinking those things.
If you have somebody in your life, you can say, oh, look at this.
Showing 801–820 of 1,085 · page 41 of 55
← Previous
Next →