Grace Alice O'Shea

You know, often we jump straight to is that the hormones, it's worth getting it checked.

But often, you know, that's that mightn't be a straightforward answer because desire is psychological as well.

So what I would be saying there, if the sex is good, first off, that's great.

because that's actually really a good sign and that's very promising.

What we're talking about here is who's initiating.

I find in most couples there's usually one person who initiates a bit more.

But what I'm hearing is that person though isn't really feeling desired because their partner isn't initiating.

So the first thing I would say is there are other ways for your partner to make you feel desired apart from initiating sex.

We want to feel seen outside of the bedroom as well.

So like, you know, compliments, touch, kissing, flirting, all of that makes you feel seen and desired outside of sex itself.

But when it comes to initiating sex, you just need to talk to your partner and ask, you know, I find that I'm initiating a lot.

Is there a reason you don't?

You know, what's going on for you there?

Again, it sounds like once it gets going, it's great.

Yeah.

Which is a lot of it to me.

Like that's, again, that's pretty good.

Yeah, if you're not really used to communicating much and you want to communicate more, which hopefully everyone does, because it's so important.

Absolutely, baby steps is the way to start.

I think, first of all, thinking about, you know, how comfortable are you communicating and what fears are coming up there and spending some time on that.