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Harland Williams

👤 Person
729 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

You did it down here. I did it here. You went like this. You did like a breast salute.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

You did it down here. I did it here. You went like this. You did like a breast salute.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

You did it down here. I did it here. You went like this. You did like a breast salute.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

I know, but dude, I was up here. I'm like, is that an insult? That's like putting the flag at half mass. It does feel almost like. You gave me a halfie, guy.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

I know, but dude, I was up here. I'm like, is that an insult? That's like putting the flag at half mass. It does feel almost like. You gave me a halfie, guy.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

I know, but dude, I was up here. I'm like, is that an insult? That's like putting the flag at half mass. It does feel almost like. You gave me a halfie, guy.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And I can't do this because I don't have a chin. You can still do it. You can do it. Well, it kind of slides off and goes right up my face. Ow. Ow, did that hurt? Ow. Shit, okay. Like, I want to fangula you real bad. Do it. Like, to start the show, but all I'm going to do is hurt myself. Yeah. Oh, careful. Let's try this hand. Okay. Oh, shit. Are you okay? Dude, when's it my turn to fungula?

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And I can't do this because I don't have a chin. You can still do it. You can do it. Well, it kind of slides off and goes right up my face. Ow. Ow, did that hurt? Ow. Shit, okay. Like, I want to fangula you real bad. Do it. Like, to start the show, but all I'm going to do is hurt myself. Yeah. Oh, careful. Let's try this hand. Okay. Oh, shit. Are you okay? Dude, when's it my turn to fungula?

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And I can't do this because I don't have a chin. You can still do it. You can do it. Well, it kind of slides off and goes right up my face. Ow. Ow, did that hurt? Ow. Shit, okay. Like, I want to fangula you real bad. Do it. Like, to start the show, but all I'm going to do is hurt myself. Yeah. Oh, careful. Let's try this hand. Okay. Oh, shit. Are you okay? Dude, when's it my turn to fungula?

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

You can do it whenever you want. I know, but I don't want to hurt my face. Just do the finger. One finger? Oh, one of these.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

You can do it whenever you want. I know, but I don't want to hurt my face. Just do the finger. One finger? Oh, one of these.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

You can do it whenever you want. I know, but I don't want to hurt my face. Just do the finger. One finger? Oh, one of these.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Well, I don't like this because really the implication is it's like I'm supposed to be getting the better of this exchange, right? I'm the tough guy, but what am I really saying? Hey, you, I want to put my finger in your anus.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Well, I don't like this because really the implication is it's like I'm supposed to be getting the better of this exchange, right? I'm the tough guy, but what am I really saying? Hey, you, I want to put my finger in your anus.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Well, I don't like this because really the implication is it's like I'm supposed to be getting the better of this exchange, right? I'm the tough guy, but what am I really saying? Hey, you, I want to put my finger in your anus.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

What did you think it was, up your raisin bread? No. Dude, it's up your calamari ring.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

What did you think it was, up your raisin bread? No. Dude, it's up your calamari ring.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

What did you think it was, up your raisin bread? No. Dude, it's up your calamari ring.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

No, but I fingered a calamari ring. It was at a Greek restaurant, Mr. Greek, down on Melrose the other night. Yeah. And they brought these delicious fried calamari rings. I thought they were deep fried assholes. Yeah, yeah. And I just grabbed on and it looked like the perfect fit and I put it on and it screamed. Yeah. I don't know if you ever had your food scream. No, so it was still alive.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

No, but I fingered a calamari ring. It was at a Greek restaurant, Mr. Greek, down on Melrose the other night. Yeah. And they brought these delicious fried calamari rings. I thought they were deep fried assholes. Yeah, yeah. And I just grabbed on and it looked like the perfect fit and I put it on and it screamed. Yeah. I don't know if you ever had your food scream. No, so it was still alive.

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