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Harland Williams

๐Ÿ‘ค Speaker
743 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And the nights that I rocked her in my arm, and sometimes she'd make me soak raisin bread, sudden-made raisin bread, a whole loaf in warm milk, and just sort of dab it around her face. She said it felt like being back in the womb. She felt like she was covered in placenta. And I would sing, Papa, don't preach. You're in trouble.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And the nights that I rocked her in my arm, and sometimes she'd make me soak raisin bread, sudden-made raisin bread, a whole loaf in warm milk, and just sort of dab it around her face. She said it felt like being back in the womb. She felt like she was covered in placenta. And I would sing, Papa, don't preach. You're in trouble.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And the nights that I rocked her in my arm, and sometimes she'd make me soak raisin bread, sudden-made raisin bread, a whole loaf in warm milk, and just sort of dab it around her face. She said it felt like being back in the womb. She felt like she was covered in placenta. And I would sing, Papa, don't preach. You're in trouble.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Yeah, and I would sing to her. Yeah.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Yeah, and I would sing to her. Yeah.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Yeah, and I would sing to her. Yeah.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And it was very tender. People see her as abrasive, as cutting edge.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And it was very tender. People see her as abrasive, as cutting edge.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And it was very tender. People see her as abrasive, as cutting edge.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Yeah, but somehow I was able to break her down and get to that soft side of Madonna. I used to call her Mike. We didn't even use Madonna. I just called her Mike, and I'd hold her, and sometimes I'd be holding her. She'd be naked and covered in onion water, and I'd sprinkle cinnamon on her.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Yeah, but somehow I was able to break her down and get to that soft side of Madonna. I used to call her Mike. We didn't even use Madonna. I just called her Mike, and I'd hold her, and sometimes I'd be holding her. She'd be naked and covered in onion water, and I'd sprinkle cinnamon on her.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Yeah, but somehow I was able to break her down and get to that soft side of Madonna. I used to call her Mike. We didn't even use Madonna. I just called her Mike, and I'd hold her, and sometimes I'd be holding her. She'd be naked and covered in onion water, and I'd sprinkle cinnamon on her.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And it almost tenderized her that hard. Yeah. that Madonna exterior, like a virgin, but I got her to a place where it looked like she'd been rolled like 400 times behind a Dairy Queen by truck drivers. Like nowhere near like the virgin thing. And I was able to break that down for her and give that to her. I almost lost a lot of years off of my life because I... You were so dedicated to her.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And it almost tenderized her that hard. Yeah. that Madonna exterior, like a virgin, but I got her to a place where it looked like she'd been rolled like 400 times behind a Dairy Queen by truck drivers. Like nowhere near like the virgin thing. And I was able to break that down for her and give that to her. I almost lost a lot of years off of my life because I... You were so dedicated to her.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And it almost tenderized her that hard. Yeah. that Madonna exterior, like a virgin, but I got her to a place where it looked like she'd been rolled like 400 times behind a Dairy Queen by truck drivers. Like nowhere near like the virgin thing. And I was able to break that down for her and give that to her. I almost lost a lot of years off of my life because I... You were so dedicated to her.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

She was so wounded, and I'm a giver and a healer, and I helped her heal. If you could feel her crying in your arms in the middle of the night, like the smell of burnt cinnamon, and just her heart beating against your chest, and

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

She was so wounded, and I'm a giver and a healer, and I helped her heal. If you could feel her crying in your arms in the middle of the night, like the smell of burnt cinnamon, and just her heart beating against your chest, and

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

She was so wounded, and I'm a giver and a healer, and I helped her heal. If you could feel her crying in your arms in the middle of the night, like the smell of burnt cinnamon, and just her heart beating against your chest, and

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

You'd just squeeze her a little and she'd do like, she loved those apple turnovers from McDonald's and you'd just give her a little squeeze and she'd do little apple turnover farts. Just like, like little, almost like angel whispers into the night. And you'd squeeze her and she'd do little crispy apple turnover farts. So adorable, man. Yeah. What a memory.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

You'd just squeeze her a little and she'd do like, she loved those apple turnovers from McDonald's and you'd just give her a little squeeze and she'd do little apple turnover farts. Just like, like little, almost like angel whispers into the night. And you'd squeeze her and she'd do little crispy apple turnover farts. So adorable, man. Yeah. What a memory.