Helen Thorn

And I think that's it.

And I think, again, I believe that getting married would be the magic pill, that if I was married, if I was a mum,

If I was, you know, had the house and the two children, then that was like the foundation.

That was the base for everything.

That was my measure of success because that felt like a constant or stability or I was loved because I was in, you know, I could outwardly tell people, look, look at this.

I've got all these things.

You know, I'm, you know, I've done well.

Haven't I done well?

But when that all crumbled down, I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, God.

Who am I as a single mom?

And I used to be petrified of being a single parent, be petrified that I would have to make decisions by myself.

And now I can't get enough of it.

I love not living with compromise or constant criticism.

Turns out that's really shit.

It's really shit living with someone who constantly puts you down.

And that's, I guess that's, again, like we were talking about boiling a frog earlier.

That's how I felt in my marriage.

And I was so unaware that he was constantly bringing me down.

But I've also, you know, through my therapy, realized that he was incredibly unhappy.

And also having this affair and it's easy to pick at other people when you know you're the problem and that great deflection, it's the absolute kind of wizardry of gaslighting, isn't it?