Helen Thorn

Also, because I'm sort of in perimenopause and I have found that if I drink too much now, I get the sads more than I did before.

Like not even day one, you know, the day after sort of hangover, it's the day to...

Oh my God, it's quite, it's quite depressing.

So I think, and now it's sort of, because I've sat and had some good old hard chats with myself, I'm like, now, before I have some wine, I go, do I really want to feel crap in two days time?

And most of the time that answer is no.

And that I can have a good time and I don't feel isolated or I don't feel like I'm missing out on the fun.

know, maybe when it gets to about midnight and everyone's quite, you know, dancing to Dancing Queen in the kitchen, I'm like, oh yeah, might be time to go.

But yeah, like I don't feel like I'm missing out.

And I think that's also having a greater respect for myself and also a lot of, you know, the things I've worked on in the last few years is about self-worth and

and and knowing my values and who I am so I think that's that's really important and also not trying to please everyone and often I will have had drinks just because I think that's what the other person wants of me yeah there is that camaraderie that's kind of almost required with drinking it's ah you will go on you will have one but it's to make the person who wants one not feel like they're the only one not having one yeah yeah yeah it's they need you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

And disappointing others is really hard.

It really takes practice.

And it's not like I'm actively disappointing.

But when you choose yourself first, it's hard.

It's a little stingy.

Prickly, isn't it?

Yes, yes.

And just knowing that it will feel uncomfortable but not forever.

And I think that's good.