Iliza Shlesinger
Appearances
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
like he needs it for his so he won't collapse so he'll live there's just something too gentle I'm like why don't you take your nap you little gentle toddler why don't you take that little baby nap and rest your eyes like he's been up for 18 hours like he has to take a nap so he doesn't collapse I didn't see this napping on your resume I don't think we would have had a first date if I knew you napped all day and you're like he's like I get five minutes a day just relax it's a one hour nap and I'm like but what if I need to talk to you like it's
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
So it's less that it's more about making fun of the unjustified anger. It's never an anger, an actual anger toward him.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yeah, I just I'm going to be like, hey, can you ask Noah a question? I'll be like, don't know, because he's in the land of nod. So I guess we'll just put our lives on hold while he naps. Meanwhile, it's one hour. Everything's fine.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
No, he retreats to the bedroom and no one can go in there.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Where are you creeping off to? Map time? Yeah. I got to talk to you about a conversation I had with a female friend. Can you get back here?
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
sounds like he's ill like take to the water or it's very regal it's a king no it couldn't be worse it's worse take to my bed take that does sound like you're sick uh because i also remember you were in the road to wellville so i wonder if that's oh you saw that I did see that. Who was Dana? Yeah, he played like a mentally handicapped person.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yeah, I actually have been to that. It's called the Mohonk Lodge.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I mean, anything old is going to be haunted. I mean, but we used to go there. My dad used to take us there.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
When we were kids. Yeah. It's so random.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
It's in, not Pell, Plattsburgh. Platts? It's up there by Hudson.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I was there. I was in the cast. I was on SNL.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yeah, I didn't do a lot that year.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I will tell you, I show my daughter's just turned three. And so it's on me to show her what's funny. So I showed her a bunch of in living color. And then I was like, you need to see this sketch. It's called Matt Foley, whatever, whatever he was. And it was the one with you and Christina Applegate.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
When he falls on the table. And I was trying to explain to her why that's funny when someone falls onto furniture. And that took the funny right out of it. Did she react to it? I mean, she's three. Nope. But she will. She will ask for it. In like six months, she'll be like, I want to see the furniture guy. And then you'll be like, I will pull it back up for you.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
No, but we watch a lot of Michael Jackson thriller on repeat the whole video.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
It's monsters coming at you and stuff. I was like, you need to know what good music is. Halloween was there. I was like, you have to know this. And now, I mean, if you're a parent, you will just live to see all of your favorite things repeated to you ad nauseum until you hate them. We listened to Thriller every morning, multiple times.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Oh, she's going as Elsa. I already asked her. It's either Elsa or Michael Jackson. It's whatever.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
So my block does the Halloween for our entire area. So it's like a thousand people.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Not only that, the kids are so rude. They don't know to say trick or treat. And I, my joy in life is putting on a witch face and I heckle these kids.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I try to be, and they kind of crave it. And when a kid comes back for candy and I'm like, I recognize you. Get out of here, you little fat brat. And I turn them away. I don't call them fat. But I love to scare them because you have to say please and you have to say trick or treat. And they don't.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
They can't read cursive. They're not reading ancient numbering systems. The AI is going to teach your daughter.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Oh, it moved because now it's in Addison.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
The whole city's next to a freeway. It's Dallas, Texas. The whole city was built off a toll road.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Spellbinders in Houston. Anybody...
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I'll tell you what I think Dallas has at least it used to have like more strip clubs per capita and then I think Portland and probably Atlanta join the chat but join the chat join the strip chat but Dallas has a lot of them kind of down there in that area in that whole area down there the manager would take all the comics down there and he'd give them free passes and they'd be like oh this is good oh wait it's good Monday Tuesday and Wednesday is that when you were playing there
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
He's famous for saying women aren't funny. And I only think about that because journalists always bring it up. And I'm like, he's dead. So I guess I win.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I could just see like any female comic working, like being like, oh, cool. Thanks for these strip club passes. Yeah. I'm so glad. I'm so glad.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
What do you mean it might be a lie? Did you go or did you not?
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Is that you getting to know him? You know, in the story, it just makes the story better.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I feel unqualified to be on this because I don't have these storied other than... You know, like, I don't.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I've never met her. I guess it's like, I don't know. I don't think it's about like, oh, I want to meet them. It's more about like, oh, I'd love to work with them.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
But I mean, I met Billy Crystal once and I cried and he was so nice because there is a comic. You know, it's not about rock stars. I mean, I think if I met if I met Nicki Minaj, I'd be like, we have to talk. I have so many things I've always wanted to say to you. And she would tolerate me. And she'd be like, whose mom is this?
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
But as a comedian, there are so many people, if you're lucky enough in your career, your idols become your colleagues.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Not, or just like a half quote and you're like, I'm sorry that I said that like half awake on a podcast in 2010.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
It's sad for the idol. But it's, I don't know. I think, I don't know. Anybody from... I mean, if I ever met Jim Carrey, of course, obviously, I could never meet Chris Farley, but that would be impactful. Will Ferrell. I'm sure I will take a meeting with at some point and will embarrass myself.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Big fan of Elizabeth Banks. I've only met her executive.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I think I've chatted with her, but... You know, you see like women that were on SNL, like you see these people and then you remember that, you know, they're just like you. These are just normal people. But Billy Crystal, I did cry because that was incredibly meaningful. And what was big when you were growing up?
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
No, because that was again, I think this podcast should be called You're Too Young to Remember This.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Uh, he, cause he was on SNL obviously at the very beginning. He did a movie. I mean, obviously there was city slickers, but he did a movie called Mr. Saturday night, which sometimes gets overlooked by standup comics as this like seminal piece of work in terms of like movies about standup comedy. Right. But we watched it a lot growing up.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Do I still need to remember my firm stance on dogs versus cats on a sandwich being a pita? Going out on a limb.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
And now that I look back at it, you realize how much of it was true in a way that you couldn't process it as a kid with no context.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
No, he was just a New York Jew. Just like a New York, like, schticky... What do you want? Yeah. What do you want from me? King of the jungle? How about queen? Or king of the... It was a Davy Crockett joke. It wasn't... It wasn't the jungle.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
How about... And then... And then ba-dum-bum.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Ba-dum-bum. And so, I don't know, but I will say, I mean, anytime you work with anyone bigger than you, you're just kind of like, oh, wow, this is... I feel bad for this person, but this is really cool that I'm here. Where did you see him? He was doing a town hall for the New York Comedy Festival, and I had a show.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
No, it was at Town Hall. Town Hall in New York.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yeah, and I snuck back there, and I went under the stage, Phantom of the Opera style, and I was like, I bet he'll be here. And he was. No security, because it's, you know.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Somehow, I always let people know, like, I'm a comedian. Just so you know, like, I'm not a weirdo. Like, I'm like, I do what you do. We're the exact same. Can I get a picture?
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Well, there's also that thing with comics. Someone is a comic and you're like, are you? Or is this something you, like, think about doing? But I do think it is a nice thing, like, to level the playing field. When a comic comes up to me, they're like, hey, I do comedy too. It's a nice way of being like, hey, like, I mean you no harm yet.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yeah, like you could at least introduce yourself or say hi. I mean, but there is, I always feel bad when like a comic is like, I couldn't get in. I'm like, if you're a comic, you can come in. You can always come in for free. I don't want people to think that and then you just say it, but you're allowed into these spaces to just hang out.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Oh, and they don't want anything too.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Oh, the most humbling is when I'm like, did you? Because sometimes I'll say it because I know someone will be nervous because I'll pick up on the energy. I'll be like, did you want a picture? And then they say no. And I'm like, I'll just go fuck myself then. I didn't want to give you.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
They'll wait in your VIP. This may not be relatable to a lot of people listening. They'll wait in your VIP line with people who paid a lot of money to meet you and have a photo. And then they'll say, I don't want a photo. I just wanted to say hi or thank you. And I'm like, okay, but you spent a hundred. This is still a hundred dollars. You sure you don't want a quick Snapchat? Quick something?
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Nope. Nope. Do you just want it? Okay. I respect it.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
So what do you do? That's your tour manager's job. We have a policy, one picture per group. You guys all came together. You have each other's numbers. You give the phone to the tour manager and we bang them out. There's no, I don't want to see you fiddle with your LG chocolate razor.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I don't want to see it. Just have it ready.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
With your Kawasaki jet ski. I don't want to see you.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
It was, it was so cool. I never had one, but they looked really cool.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Just so everyone at home knows, Dana Carvey's holding up an iPhone 6, and I don't know how he still has it.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
No, no, it's a normal phone. It's a normal phone. He's holding up an iPod Shuffle.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
People have... People have phones that just perform a phone call duty. It doesn't have the internet. Like people are going back to that now since we're all getting drug dealer.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Is that how badly you want to show people videos? Like Dana Carver's just walking around like, look at this cooking video. Look at this hibachi video.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Oh, that's what you... Oh, I thought you meant like you got me hook, line, and sinker. No, I said... You meant that they were sex workers.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yeah, what is that, David? What's that about?
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Okay, so I'm going to tell you the truth that nobody's going to cop to. Oftentimes, when you see someone with two phones, if they're not a drug dealer, and there are, I can think of a Kevin Gates song about having two phones. It's called Two Phones. It's oftentimes just a performative flex. Like, they're like, sorry, I just get so many. I can't. I'm like, this is sorry.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
This is a micro computer with the entire power of the world in it. And you're telling me you're so disordered. You have so much going on that the internet can't hold all of your information. Your phone book is so full that you need two different. Yeah. And I think if you're a mega celebrity, like most people just won't have your number. I'm not even that famous.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
And most of my calls go to an assistant. So the two phone thing, unless you have one for work that you throw in a drawer at the end of the day is really and people like hold them up to be like, oh, sorry, I just have two of these. Like, OK, we get it.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yeah, I mean. Plan it out. To be fair, Dana, right now you look like you're in a sleeping bag.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
It's a Cotopaxi original. Oh, no, we can tell. No, no.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
It's not, I used to, in one of my old specials, I have a bit about how we scan, like we scan everything. And it's not about, cause I'm not a gold digger. It's not about like, Ooh, is that a nice watch? It was like, Oh, are you, are your shoes weirdly outdated to where it's like you had to make a choice between like these shoes or your electricity being on?
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Are you wearing like a Kenneth Cole reaction shoe? Like that shows that no one's dressed you in a long time. Are you wearing workout gear, but you're obviously you haven't done cardio. Um, Are you wearing a tech vest? Are you wearing a Cotopaxi jacket? And they all inform us about your, are you wearing an Arctic's flannel? Like, do you have a cocaine addiction?
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Like there's all these things for better, for worse. But to answer your question, of course, I mean, we plan the outfit. I think I work my I think the outfit is second to how precious the material is and then the lighting and everything else. But the outfit gets planned.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
You know, look, I'm not going to pretend like as a woman, what you wear doesn't matter. And there's certain silhouettes I enjoy. And for this special, I just wanted to do something sexy, but powerful, but fun. I found the pants prior to having my last baby. So I held on to those pants for like a full year. And I was like, I'm going to get into these pants come hell or high water. And...
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Did you call it your stupid special? That's what you just said. You were like in my stupid special.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
As long as you don't have wrinkles. Look, here's the deal. In terms of men's comedy, there's Eddie Murphy raw. And then there's whatever else the rest of you guys wear. Like it either has to be impactful and iconic or literally no one cares.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Do you? The first TV show I ever shot, we shot it in Encino in like a mansion. It was like a reality show. And I had no real reference for it. But as I get older, you're like, oh, that's where all the money in the valley goes. Like if you want to live like a millionaire in Kansas City, buy your house in Encino and you can live like a person.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Well, I don't. think I don't think people I don't I think it's all about what you give to your audience. And I don't think people watch you for a sartorial experience. And I think when you're a woman, people have to like it is about what you're wearing. You know, it does it. Are you does it hug your body? Can they see your body? Are they not seeing your body? Is that deliberate?
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I think women get judged on these things in a good and a bad way. But for guys, it's just not the way that we think about you. Like if someone sees you, it's like, oh, my God, it's David Spade, not Oh, did you, I mean, maybe on a Saturday night, like, did you see those leather pants? You know, it's just not your, it's just not part of your brand.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Well, that's because for the longest time, you know, the audience, it took them a while to wrap their minds around the fact that a woman was speaking. But now I think, you know, I see a lot of younger girls just going up and just everything's out and they don't think about it. And the answer is you're welcome.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
It's because of women like me and our generation putting in that work in those American apparel hoodies so you could wear a belly shirt.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Hoodie comic. I was one of them. My picture is on the improv wall next to yours, actually, and I'm in that hoodie.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yeah, you're right next to mine. It's right when you walk in.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yes. Do you want to tell it? Because it was a very sweet story.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I feel like I remember half of it.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
It was a, you got it. And, and I got it. So for people listening, Adam Eget was the manager, general manager of the comedy store. And now I think he manages mothership in Austin. And he texted me and he was like, Spade's going to message you. And I, cause I think I may have said something to you. Um, or I didn't.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
But the way he said Spade's going to talk to you, the vibe was like, hey, you did something wrong. And now comedy royalty is about to not only blacklist you, but you should never have gotten upset that he mispronounced like it was like Spade's going to. He didn't say reach out. Reach out is a good thing. It's like Spade's going to do better. bring down the hammer. And I was like, okay.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
And you reached out and I was never going to say anything ever again because I knew it wasn't personal. And you went out of your way to say that it was a mistake and you were sorry. And I couldn't believe that someone of your stature, that someone that David Spade was reaching down to little old me to be like, hey, sorry about that.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
In an industry where people are aggressively awful to each other for fun... And I always remember that about you. And unfortunately for you, I was like, oh, cool. Now we're friends. Now I can always talk to him.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
No, but just know that if you're watching a show and comics give each other shit like that, it's because they're friends. I don't think I've ever really seen a comic like fuck up and then the next comic gets mad about it. Like it's never I've brought up comics I don't even like and I've never given them a bad intro.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I've never been like this next guy tried to sexually harass me over the phone and now I'm famous and he's not. Please welcome. Like I would never do that. No.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
And because I deigned to softly correct it and then Adam's like, Spade's going to talk to you. I was like, oh my God. Oh my God, he's going to get mad that I knew my own name. And you were so nice. Yeah.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
You owe David Spade an apology. Your name is now Elisa.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
what Dana just did deliberately or not. I can't tell if it's a bit. No, I was kidding. Okay. Thank God. Uh, uh, it's, oh yeah. Schlesinger, Schlesinger, but I don't even correct people because it ultimately doesn't matter because the more painful part is having to then hear them try to correct it. And then it becomes like a linguistics lesson.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
No, it was called, you would only know this if you had trouble sleeping and or a coke addiction because it aired so late. Well, what was the subject of it?
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
And you're like, I'm just trying to promote this show. Yeah.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Greg Fitzsimmons told me that he one time, and he's in my phone as this, got Grapefruit Simmons. That's funny. I don't mind that. People are just uneducated, not checked in, just out to lunch, just making up words, not reading.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Oh, I mean, the art of standup is 99% making up a bullshit credit for the next comic who you have no real reference for.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
It used to just be clubs and colleges. But now that's... I mean, if you're playing colleges as your main thing, like maybe you're not doing great. And so... And used to be Comedy Central, which it really isn't anymore. So now, I mean, I brought up a comic the other night and I was like, you know him from the internet. Please welcome. It was Morgan Jay. And who is known from the internet?
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
It's not like you met him on Star Search. And so I thought... I just, I just usually like this next comic is hilarious. One of my good friends.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I wrote it. It's based on a true story and I starred in it and it's available for streaming 24 hours a day.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
It was called Excused and it was like a dating show. People and I was the host and people would date. Oh, yeah, I did. We did 230 episodes. Holy shit. I have eaten, the bigger issue is that no one knows the show, but I have eaten at every single restaurant in Encino.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Right? Yeah. It's secretly an incredible comedy town.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
You wouldn't think that. And they're the best. And I have to be honest with you guys. You are my first podcast I've done to promote it. So you're the first person, I guess it was Dana, that I've heard say the special out loud because the title's been a secret.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
that's cool how big was the theater what did you what did you do this time size uh it was um so that's i want to say 2300 i also want to say 1800 it's all such a blur but we felt we did two tapings at the echoes and it was gorgeous and um the outfit was hot fire so i'm excited for one to see it i would do one it's all like they're good good crowd the outfit was cool
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I hope it is. I hope they sent you the materials. Salt Lake City is basically people. Not everyone there is Mormon, but what you get is a city of like almost no crime. People who don't really drink alcohol jacked up on sugar from soda shops and just really looking for a good time before church. That's who's there. That's right.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Rosetta and Encino, if there was a lunch special, if there was a sushi bar, I ate there.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
it's like it's like i'm i mean it's like friends minus the money it was syndicated it was cbs studios so it was picked up in all these crazy markets every once in a while i'll get some like dude in skinny jeans that's like i used to watch you when i was getting ready for my shift skinny jeans i used to watch yeah before i got a fun ruckers did you like it wasn't really that's right you ever get a backhand a compliment i i heard you're pretty funny but it's not for me man i
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I stopped watching when you got married. I stopped watching. Oh, did they say that? Oh, it's okay. You can take the go with the bad. You get all kinds of weird compliments that I'm like, look, you would still love to have sex with me. We both know it, but thank you so much for buying this ticket and enjoy the impress. Enjoy the show.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I guess I can't comment on more than because I but I think it's not even about being attractive. I think you just as a woman, you just like leave the house. You're like, here I am. And then the universe is like, well, here's the list of weirdos that are going to make it tough for you. But no matter what you look like. So I don't even know if being attractive matters.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I mean, it's definitely, I've definitely talked to male comics, big male comics, lesser known ones that have, I mean, I think stalkers come in. I think mental illness knows no gender.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yeah, because it includes everyone.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Hear, hear, let this meeting come to order.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Oh, I thought you meant hear, hear, like, aye, aye. Like, I agree with that. No, I do like it.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I say, uh, I think, uh, most male comics are, would proclaim themselves degenerate scumbags. And I think they wear it proudly and you become a comic. Cause you're like, look, we can all agree. I'm physically repulsive. Right. But if you can make a woman laugh, I mean, it's disproportionately that rumor.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Well, I was going to say what's weird just for a moment, if I could just pull back the current. Well, you said you weren't famous in high school, but like, and I don't, I watched you guys in high school and that's what's crazy for me.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
And like, just shoot me, chopping broccoli, the church lady. Like, I mean, I know all of your resumes. And David, some parts of the year, you and I share a similar haircut. And we were on many lineups together. And Dana, I've never met you, but it is very weird to finally talk to people.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
And I felt this way when I met you, David, where you're like, oh my God, like you were my reference for so many funny things. for all the sketches I wrote in high school. Oh.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I mean, David, I probably never got to talk to you about this because we always see each other in passing, but, like, I don't think there was any... One of the most impactful sketches was, like, the Gap Girl sketch, and Dana, like, my mom bought me Wayne's World on VHS as a surprise for a sleepover. I memorized the whole movie. Like...
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
you guys are massive bricks in like a comedy fortress that I've like built in my mind. And so this is, I like that.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Uh, I don't know. There's, I, it is, it's grounding and surreal at the same time. Like sometimes you look around, you're like, oh my God, like every stitch of everything in this really nice house is because I thought to make a joke about something. And then I look at all the things I don't have and I'm like, and you could be making more jokes and have nicer things if you got out of bed quicker.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I don't know your... It came relatively quickly. I think I got my position relatively quickly because I became like a solid touring headliner in 2008. And when did you start? I started when I was 21, so I was doing it... Well, I graduated... Wait. I graduated college. I started when I was... So I graduated college in like 2004, 2005. And so I did it for about three years. Okay.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
And this was... You know, it was when it was. And so I was able to sort of become a headliner and bypass a lot of sexual harassment very early on. Shocking. But I don't know. David could tell you. I mean, he sees me out. I'm out when I'm not on tour. I'm out every almost every night of the week.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yeah, and it's something that you think would lighten up over time, but I'm about to turn 42, and if I'm not on the road, I'll knock back two or three sets a night just for the love of it. Just always out there.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I tend to, if I do record, I have trouble listening back.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yeah. I'm like, who wants to hear this? This is awful. Uh, I tend to listen back if it's a brand new joke. Like my new special is out on Amazon March 11th.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
A different animal. Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
You can get your, while you're watching me, you can shop for air filters, toilet paper, Chinese socks.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
maybe sometimes because it's a new bit and then if you don't record it or you don't remember you're like oh fuck it's not working what was that setup that made me enter the joke perfectly you know it's frustrating it's frustrating what I have done and I've done this I don't rely on this but I have a pretty close relationship like if you follow me you're a pretty decent fan I will put on my own Instagram stories hey if you were at the 8 o'clock at the theater tonight what was that thing I said about pigeons oh
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
And people, or I'll say it on stage, I'll be like, could somebody text that to me? And someone always remembers it.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
It's hard to, I mean, I recently, you know, I got all the promo cuts for my Amazon special and I have to watch myself back and I have to take like a deep cleansing breath. Gross. And it's weird. It's like, so this is something I wish on other people, but I can't watch myself. Like there's something very, very removed about all of it.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Like you have the ego to get up there, but actually digesting yourself for yourself is a weird existential kind of torture.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
Yeah, I mean, the timeline to the average civilian, the timeline seems different than it is because, and you guys know this, by the time people see your hour, you've already been on the road and working because it's like a four-month time period between when you record it and when it's actually released. But even yeah.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
And even prior to recording it, you had jokes that didn't make it or jokes you were taking out that you still want to work on. So you're just constantly the other night I actually got up and I seldom do this with just a list of jokes that I that I've written that I've written down that I haven't gotten to. And I just read them. And then we'll just start with those little kernels.
Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
Iliza Shlesinger
I want to explore the... absolute rage that I feel. I have to preface it by saying my husband is awesome. We have a lovely relationship. He wakes up at like 5 a.m. He gets our daughter ready. He makes all of us breakfast. He does everything. He's elegant. He supports women. He's the best. The absolute abject rage I feel toward him when he takes a nap. Yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Nice to see you again, Dan.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Tour's going great. It's wrapping up after Florida. Those are our last U.S. dates. And then the new tour kicks off in the fall, randomly in Estonia. But I don't expect your listeners to make it out to that show. So the tour is going great. I appreciate being on here. This ring light is working overtime for this interview.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
You know, this is my job. And so it changes when you become a parent. I decided as a treat slash punishment, my daughter gets to come with me to Florida this time. I lured her there by telling her there's going to be a lot of fruit and tropical fruit in the green room. So a little baby has never been more excited to be at a casino.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Yeah, I took Instagram off my phone and my social media team looks at it. So I think social media, especially as a comic, should be a one way street. Like I do the output, but we're closed for the feedback because it's At 42, we know the compliments and the insults are always regenerating. So I'll just avoid those for the time being.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
You know, as a mother of two, I just turned 42. I think this comedy is all about giving people a really good time. You know who I am when you sign up to come see my show, you know that you're gonna get a little bit of insight wrapped in comedy, but I think we're all kind of going through a weird, tough time just with everything going on.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
So I think more than anything now, this is incisive, raucous, a lot of fun. It's very physical. I really do think it's fun for the whole family. I don't know if you can bring your whole family to a casino, but I think there is really something for everyone because I genuinely want to include everyone in my standup. So if you leave feeling offended, maybe you shouldn't be watching standup at all.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Oh, it's in the special. So don't you worry. It's actually baked into my body of work. Look, I really think as a real feminist, my job is to hate everyone equally. And I think that truthfully, I always want women to leave feeling good from my shows. I am one and I see the things that we're up against. But
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
you don't have feminism without men agreeing and no man wants to buy a ticket to a show to be told that you're a problem or to be made to feel bad so i do believe in bringing everyone in and insulting everyone equally and uh you know we have an audience that's 60 men so i i'm sorry 40 men so i think they get the memo but uh when men degrade women it just reeks of like i'm sorry you didn't have sex in high school and you're like still bitter about that
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Well, maybe back in the 20s it was different. No, I'm just kidding. Maybe contraceptions were different back then. It was the 30s, so quit maligning me. My mistake. It was called the Great Depression for a reason. Yes, it was. I'm not a political comic. I mean, look, you can probably tell by the tone of my voice, like, a little bit how I vote, but...
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
I believe that people are, we all contain multitudes and I believe it's a case by case basis. And I don't expect people who live in a rural area to agree with people who live in a city. My comedy is never political, it's always social. And I really pride myself on having a really nice mix of liberal, conservative, queer, you know, your grandpa, whatever. I do a lot of work with our USO.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
I have a lot of military in our shows. I have a lot of people that span all political spectrums. And I think they keep coming back because there's certain inalienable truths in the comedy that I have. I don't know if my comedy brain is firing on all cylinders, but people want to feel good and nobody wants to feel bad for an hour for who they are or how they vote or what they think.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
And so I always believe in digestible feminism. And that's why we play Florida. Because it's all type.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Dan, you ask such elegant questions. And I love that you said sculpting because it really is a piece of art. And I guess it's my seventh special. So like I've been here before, I know the feeling. But there is something.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
an excitement of this like thing that you crafted and you have to as an artist just realize once you release it to the public it's no longer mine like i stand behind everything that i said but it's up for people to interpret and digest regurgitate reject embody however they want to and so i'm excited to see the way the fans receive it over the next year and i'm excited to see what those jokes turn into for the next special so
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
It's a roller coaster.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
I feel like political times always equate to a rough economy. So, you know, that's why I'm like begging people to come out to see me at the Hard Rocks. You can see a show and see Christina Aguilera's shoe right next to me. I think good or bad political time, people still need to laugh. And, you know, I'm not getting up there and giving a full expose on the war in Ukraine.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
You know, people, if anything, more than anything, need a way to get away from their problems and step into a dark room and laugh with a bunch of strangers who may not be like you. Maybe you meet your wife there. Who knows? So comedy always is good business.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
I can't say I would make sure, because that would suggest that I have the free time to like watch full hours of standup. But I always enjoy, if I'm at a show and we're all doing spots, I'll always come back in the room to watch Sebastian Maniscalco. I think he's very funny. If Cat Williams is doing something, I know that's like so random, I've always been a fan.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
I'd have to think of the other one, but I will tell you, I do make sure to watch a lot of younger comics. And I produced several 10-minute specials called Eliza's Locals, which you can watch on Hulu. And we just did the second season, which will be out on Amazon coming up this year. So I'm always down for watching new talent, helping to shape and hone and polish jokes.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
And so those are the things that take up my time.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
No, I'm not afraid of anything. There's no backlash here. I mean, people that would be angry at that answer are going to be angry regardless. Look, comedy is a meritocracy. And you don't have to like who's successful, but you can't knock the fact that it happens. And especially now with the internetification of comedy, comics have more access to finding their audience.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
There's no king makers anymore. You don't have to go on the Tonight Show and be anointed. Greg, I know you miss those days. You don't have to. Go on Star Search. It doesn't have to be because you had this special set. So you are finding comics who are able to find their niche audience and do really well. And they're not even household names. So that's good and that's bad.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
But I don't think you benefit ever from coming out and saying who you really hate and why. Because even if you're right, it always sounds like sour grapes.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
It's so accurate. It's so scathingly accurate. I wish I could just get in a room with those writers and be like, but how do you know this? She, of course, reminds me of Joan Rivers. But I remember watching I watched the whole thing. I was reticent to watch it because I was like, you know, as a woman who's tried to pitch a show about a female comic, you're always told that no one would watch it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
And then you have Marvelous Miss Maisel and this. So goes to show you, but when she tried to get her own late night show and she couldn't, I cried watching it. And I think a lot of women cried because we all know that feeling of trying and just being told that you're not right, you're not good enough at all times. So the show, it's like a ghost of Christmas future, Christmas past.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Like I hope to be that scathingly honest and bitter and intelligent and well-dressed when I'm Jean Smart's age in that show.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Yeah, I mean, I think what it comes down to, and for the girl who's there, I'm sorry, I don't know your name, but I'm glad that you're here. I'm glad there's another girl here. I think it comes down to women contain multitudes and do great things. And as much as we get pit against one another, it usually is like a bitter male comic secretly stepping on your neck.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Like, I have seen those tantrums in my own interviews. I've had male comics walk out of a podcast. I've had male DJs walk out. I've had men who, you know, I might... have the wrong inflection, and then all of a sudden they're upset. So we always are told to get this tough skin, but I would give that advice right back. My name's Lucy, by the way. Lucy, nice to meet you. I'm sorry.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Yeah, I think to criticize these things as a woman, you just get called a bitch. And even when you go on some of these podcasts and you agree with the host, you're still subjected to the comment section, which is why I turned that thing off. And so you are dealing with gigantic children. But for some reason, if you're smart enough to know that somehow that makes you the problem.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
And so it is this weird catch 22 of like being just smart enough to know the environment, but like not being able to comment on it. So the answer is make your own money, sell out your own shows, get your own fans as a comic. So you don't have to ask anybody for anything. And that is my favorite part of this job is I don't require permission.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Oh my God. I don't think we have enough time. I love making a, this is so dorky, but like I just did it. I love making a connection. I'll call it like a butthole tight connections in a big airport and walking from one plane onto another. Like you feel like you nailed it. I love that. I love obviously the performing and the fans.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
I don't love trying to find like a good salad late night in a city like Buffalo. I don't,
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
i don't love missing my family um but i do love the travel and i do love seeing those miles get racked up and i do love being the only woman in first class sometimes and i love getting to see all the different types of fans all across the world and our country because it gives me a true working knowledge of this amazing country because it's very easy
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
to sit in somewhere like Los Angeles and live in your bubble, although Los Angeles is like 70% Latino, so it is pronounced Buble. But it's very easy to sit here and have judgments about everyone else, but then you go to those cities. Like I've been to Gary, Indiana, the murder capital of the world.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
You go to Cincinnati, you go to New York, you go to whatever, to get some real context and you realize, oh my God, people are good everywhere. And and that's why I don't just like take aim randomly because someone's politically different. Like we are all mostly good people just trying to like live our lives and eat some buffalo wings at 2 a.m.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
I appreciate that question. That would suggest that I have any gratitude. And as a comic, I don't. I only ever think about the ways that I'm failing. And I know as a woman, I'm supposed to be so grateful. I'm never in awe of the size of the crowd because I look at those ticket counts, so I always know what we're walking into. But I will say...
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
I brought my daughter to my show in Vancouver, which was incredible. They're always amazing. And she watched from side stage. And at the end, she ran out. No one told her to. She ran out, and I scooped her up. And I was like, oh my gosh. I started talking about hand jobs and vodka sodas at 21. like getting paid like free chicken fingers at like a bar in Santa Barbara, like wherever.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
And now there's like a little girl here that I deliberately had. And so that was a weird, and I toured pregnant with both kids. So it was, I turned over and I was like, I can't believe that this little girl is here and that I let her stay up till like 11 o'clock, which is really bad parenting.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
So she was a little bit under three and she just turned three. And so just like her little legs running out and she wasn't afraid of the crowd or anything. It was just a magical moment to like scoop her up. And I knew I got to be backstage with her. Normally there's a dog waiting for me, but having her back there and I was like, oh wow, you ate all the fruit in the green room. And so that was it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
So the secret was, and this is before everybody got paid. You know, now you get paid to do your spots around town, but this was, I had a day job. This would have been, I got a gig in Santa Barbara. So I left my day job at six o'clock. I drove down there and like at the time no one was really getting paid or at least I wasn't. And, but you got free dinner at this bar and they gave you 20 minutes.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Cause you couldn't get 20 minutes at the time in LA. I was like 25 cause no one knew who I was. So I got free chicken fingers and I got to fill up my own gas tank and pay for it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
On spoilers?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
I think you have to put a spoiler alert if it's within. Does Righteous Gemstones, and I should know this because I was on it last season. Do they release them all at once?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
Oh, yeah. I was on it. Good luck finding me. I'm in a giant wig. But I should know. I don't remember if they drop them all at once or if it's appointment viewing. Do you know?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
I think you get to do a spoiler alert. Like, I think if it comes out that week, you have to write spoiler alert. But if we're a week out from it, I think people, then you missed it. It's appointment viewing. But I think always writing spoiler alert or saying it so people have a chance to tune out is online courtesy.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
I didn't say trigger warning. I said spoiler alert. They're different.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
I just knew it would be a great way to go out.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)
She is projecting, man. Thanks, you guys. Thank you so much.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
You know what this gives? The vibes are, you make really expensive hair gummies. The color, it comes in a nice metal package, or it's some sort of feminine vitamin. It's a very sporty country club feminine vitamin space.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I'm just like, is there free merch? It just looks like creatine gummies, that tone, not bulk. Okay. There's an ad for that somewhere on Ventura and that's what made me think of it. Thanks? Yeah, I love the green. It's very, it's like masculine feminine. It's a good, I like the green.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I want to talk about this set more. I'm great. Nick's obsessed with the color green.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Well, this is a varsity green versus, you know, like a Kelly green, which is obnoxious. So this is a good green.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Kelly green's like that Irish, like leprechaun kind of. Oh, yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
This is like an, it's called academic green because I have it in my kitchen, like a darker, like you would see this perhaps in the hallowed halls of a university or something.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I got to be honest. Please. I've played there. I mean, it is weird to have a whole city. Like, that is the culture. Like, full houses are painted. Like, it is just, you get that in cold cities. Like, the whole thing revolves around.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
So cold. You had to turn to podcasting for a warm embrace.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I mean, I'm fine with hearing that.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
You think one of the kids did it? No, because the people he worked with, I think, did. Are they still together? My parents? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think you got to be at that point.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Okay. So you, you know, you had some time to be like one, like kind of the story.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Yeah. That's the way to look at it.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
That's how I would look at it. I have one brother and I'm like, but it's me.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
That's a tough one.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
19.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Right. You've done that math. You've had a flight to do that math. A flight with no Wi-Fi. When the youngest was born. It's a Southwest flight. Are you going to have 11 kids too? Because you could.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I don't think you have to do it. I think it just does it. It just falls out by the 11th? No, but I just think if you did one and you wanted 11, I think by that eighth one, you're just like, you yawn. You're like, oh, there it goes. I think it does get easier.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
The second one was easier. I was like all ready to push. I was like, here we go. And they're like, here he is.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I'm not going to sit here and be like, I do it all like I have help. But I did get like this morning had a very emotional talk with the nanny. She's like, you got she's Jamaican. And I do a terrible Jamaican accent. She's like, you do not pay enough attention to him. And I was like, yeah, because we have you.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
And she was right. And I felt really bad. And I was like, I have to pull it together. And I was just like, but he's a boy. And so he's extra strong and extra squirmy. And I'm like, it's not the funnest hang to hold. It's like holding a crocodile or an alligator. It's just rolling. And my daughter's three. So I was like, but you can't just put him off until he gets older. Then we'll hang out.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Oh, really? I take all the notes from her because she knows better than I. And she was our daughter's nanny. So anything I didn't know, we just asked Myrna. And so everything I know now is because of how she did it.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
It was an accident.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
She was she was we were in line at Ralph's. No, I we had hired a nanny because that's in my mind. I was like this. I was going to go. I'm going to spend my money on this. I'm going to have a baby nurse that lives with us. I'm not I'm a touring comic. Like I've got like three jobs. Like I'm not getting up in the night longer than I have to.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I don't care what anyone thinks about that because you would, too, if you could. And I had her all. Her name was Cheryl. I had her all set. I had done like a FaceTime with her. I'm like, great. I sent her the deposit of like a couple thousand dollars. I'm like. Four weeks before I was going to give birth, she sends me these really grainy videos of her not feeling well.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
And I was like, this feels like a scam. And then she sent me one of her in a hospital. She was like, oh, I've got bronchitis or something. Was it the same picture that the Brad Pitt used? Oh, my God. That is so funny. This predates that, but that is so funny. And I was like, why is your head on? Why are you white? And she was, and so I was just like, okay, well, I'm sorry. I hope you're okay.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
But like, what about that money? She was like, I'm going to send you my cousin. And I was like, I don't know your cousin. Like, I don't really know you, but like I had my heart set on you. Myrna just showed up. She sent her the money, the deposit. I came home from the hospital and there was Myrna, took my baby and she's been with us. That was it. Wow.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
When you are that vulnerable, you're like, okay, here, sure. You seem trustworthy. I need to go take a shower. I'm going to wash this blood off you. And that's great. And she's great. And she lives with you still? She came back. She was the first person I called when I got pregnant with my son before my parents. And I was like, can you get back here? And so she did. And she lives with us.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
And I hope she never leaves. But at some point, I'll have to learn how to be a mother of two.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Good on paper. It's on Netflix. You can watch it now.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
He is. Bachelor alum. That was my, that was our big star pull. We got Tyler Cameron and he had a cute little scene.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Yeah. Nothing happened to him. He was very nice. Very nice man.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
OK, yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
can remind or inform for the first time. It's basically a story about this movie that I made as a few years old now, but it's about me dating a sociopath. And it's this like story where you meet someone and they tell you all these amazing things.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
And my story is a little bit different because this wasn't this movie sort of falls into that like weird category of the Tinder swindler and like those kind of things or Dirty John, like those kind of things. My movie came out before all that. And I do think that these things happen, especially to women, but more than we realize. And it's only now that people are talking about it.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
But I basically met someone. We were friends. And then eventually we started dating. And I learned that every single thing he had said about himself was a lie. And where my story differs from others is that he wasn't telling me things like, oh, I'm a prince or I've got billions of dollars. He just like said he went to like a good school and like worked at a hedge fund.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Things that I am not so impressed by. It's just different.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Totally believable. I went to Yale. I'm like, cool. So did my cousin. Do you know Brett? It wasn't like, oh my God, how did you ever get in there? And then slowly but surely, every lie from the things that he did to the people he knew to where he, everything unraveled. And so it's high stakes in that it's your heart, but it's not high stakes like, oh, I loaned the guy money or something.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
But it's a true story. And so I wrote a movie about it.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
It's a dark comedy when you realize that it is a
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
it is a mostly true story I say it's a true story based on a lie and so it really did happen and no I don't know where he is and no I don't know if he ever saw it he's probably dead in a ditch like you probably lied to the wrong person and so that was where he's probably lying that he's dead in a ditch or he's telling everyone the movie is about him yeah Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Like you're going to have diarrhea and everybody no one's eating real food at any point. It's always fruit. And she's she has so much fruit at breakfast and it's just chunks of dinner. And you know that that is not the first take. And they are just eating melon and tropical fruits at every meal like fruit.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I love cantaloupe. I love a good cantaloupe.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Someone will eat this because they don't know any better. But I will tell you, my husband is a chef and cookbook author and just like a food person. So he was the first one to like expose me to like how great a real melon, like an in-season, hyper seasonal melon can be like locally grown here in California. Yeah, I don't think I've ever had one.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
outstanding they're all hard i feel like that's because you get them at ralph's and look there's no shame in that and you get a ripe one it's great but there's so many different kinds of melon that are in micro climates and grown and so if you go to farmer's market go to like some of those guys that really specialize in it and it's really incredible people give a lot of shit to cantaloupe and honeydew because it's always there yeah you get a good one outstanding do we think patrick schwarzenegger's character is going to be the killer
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Oh, can I? So I have a thought. Yeah, what's your theory? Well, in the, so I call it a sample. Like at the end when they show the preview for next week, I get very excited about my sample. I'm like weird about it. They showed a body bag and you could tell by the size of it who it wouldn't be. Like it seemed like maybe slightly smaller.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I think the guy that dies is the husband, the wrinkly husband, the old husband. Greg? The one that was married to Jennifer Coolidge. Greg. Yes, Gary. I don't know anyone's name on the show. Gary. Sorry. Greg, Gary. Glenn, Ross. Yeah, I think it's him because he's a slight build. Okay. And I looked at that body bag.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Did you pause? No, but I just clocked it. Yeah. If there's one thing I can do, it's clock a dead body.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Well, it's a body bag.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
You can't plant a body bag. Do you? It's from like NCIS. They just like cut in a scene.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
He plays the character really well.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I walked in behind him at CBS News two weeks ago in New York, and I was about to say something, and I was like, we don't know each other. We have no connection. How was his gait? I barely saw it. I was, because I was getting out of my own car. But I just, it's like that thing where you're like, should I say, and I'm like, he doesn't know you. I'm not going to go.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Please let go of my arm. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I do get the I get the sense I could be wrong. Like everybody on that show is always for every season impeccably cast. And it does strike me because it's like an actor's actor show. I do feel like people have to read for that show. I don't know if they offer any of those roles like those things like feel like hard won parts like you acted your heart out to get that.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I just think everybody's so perfect on that show that they just seem like they were born for that role.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
But here's the thing that people I think don't really know in Hollywood, like a casting director can only get you the read. It's the producer that gives you the role. Like they can just aggregate like who they think would be right for this. But at the end of the day, it's not casting. It's Mike White who's saying like yes and no to everybody. Sure.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Yeah. I mean, they have to weigh in, but it's not the casting. All they can do is get you the read.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
She's like, I love him. It's like, there's no way. I love Rupert.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I love Rupert. That North Carolina accent. At first I was like, it's not my favorite accent. They do it incredibly well, especially not Chris Isaac. What's his name? Jason Isaacs. Who's like British. Nails it. Yeah. The North Carolina accent is low. It's like this. And I'm from Texas, so I know the difference. And as long as I want to hear it, I'm just like, okay. Like it's always Tar Heels.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Like it's just, it's a low one. It really is.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
But theirs is in particular. It's down there. And so I can, I can hear it. I can, I can hear when someone's from Texas cause I am, but North Carolina, it's, it's its own thing. It's almost like a Valley accent.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
They get so... Look, I play North Carolina a lot. Shout out to you, Raleigh and Durham and Charlotte. Those shows are always amazing. But they get very... It is Duke versus North Carolina. It's kind of like get over yourself.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Duke would be popping his wife's pills.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Tax evasion. That's what you learn there about business school. Don't cheap out the government. Where'd you go to school?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
State? University of?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
University of Wisconsin?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
In Madison?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
And I've played there many times. It is so idyllic. It is so pretty there. Where do you like better, Madison or Milwaukee? I guess I haven't been to Madison in a while. I mean, I think Milwaukee's a bigger market. But they're both great. I mean, Wisconsin fans turn up.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I've been doing this for a very long time.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
No, that is a bucket list thing. There are certain states it's hard to get a gig that's worth going. So I think there's five states. Like, I've never played Wyoming. But I have played Montana, which is weird. I've never I've never played Alaska, which a lot of comics have. New Mexico is a tough one to route. And I'm blanking on the other one.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
No, it's not about that. It's about like having a performing arts center that would give you the deal that makes it worth it. It's not always about like if there's people, it's about like what's the offer? What's the gig? How what's the capacity? Is there a club? Is there a venue? What's the play? So there's a lot of factors. And can I tack it on to a vacation? Right.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
How did you meet your husband? On Raya. Everybody asks this on a dating app. But we've been married for so long. It's like, I don't know. Telling me you've been married. I don't know. But long enough that you forgot. We met on Raya. Seven years, I think we met on Raya when it was like first out. I was going to say, Rye hasn't been around that long. Well, because I think it's changed.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Like, I don't know what it is now, but it was like for artists. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
You know, I think, too, for dating apps, it's always like men kind of get a pass. They're like, this is for artists. But you guys can come on. We need men here. And so he was on there and that was it. We met.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Our first date was I we texted for a little bit. And I remember thinking like this guy's it felt he felt so comfortable. He was so funny and not like annoying funny. Like I'm fine to laugh at someone else. Like I definitely like don't need to like be the star. And he was like suggested a movie, which now that I know him, I like never want to see movies. And he's like a huge cinephile.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
But I suggested this documentary that had come out before you think I'm like too cool for school. It was called Tickled. And it was about the world of competitive tickling.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
And I was like, well, this is interesting. This is playing in like a theater. This is playing what's called like Lemley Sunset 5 or was the Lemley. Now it's just Sunset 5. It was like, you know, a small documentary. And I was like, this will be cool. And it turned out to be a very dark, homoerotic expose on the world of like the sexual underbelly of competitive tickling.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Not what I thought it was going to be, but like kind of hot.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Is there any other kind? Who else doesn't get turned on? And so we went and he talked throughout the whole movie. And I thought it was so cute because he seemed nervous. And then the movie ended and I was like, hey, I have to go do a set because I had planned it. And like in case he was a dud, I'd be like, well, I've got a set. But I liked him and I was like, I've got a set.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
And it's at my friend's bar. And if this works out, you're going to have to see the act at some point. So he came. I did my set and I knew he was a good one because my friend gave him a drink ticket. And I was like, you can go get a drink because I don't drink before I go on stage. And he goes, no, I'll wait for you. And he didn't have his drink until I got done.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Well, then I don't, why are we talking about this? You better be a professional chef.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Like you like your grilled cheese cut up into squares?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Like, what do you mean?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Really? Yeah. Oh, my God. Johnny T. Mercer Theater.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
That is a real accent.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Tell me you just cook for yourself and she cooks for the family. Like, tell me he's like, daddy's going to be in the kitchen alone.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Do you grill?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I'm going to get you a copy. My husband's writing a grill cookbook that comes out next year.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Okay. What kind of smoke are you working with?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Gas?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Gas is good. Okay.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
They love a cheese quesadilla. I don't like cooking and it's not like a feminist thing. It just like doesn't, to put it in the internet, like doesn't spark joy. Like my husband had to make, he went out of town today and he cooked like six chicken breasts last night. And he was like, if I don't cook these, she won't eat. Cause I'm just like, I'll just eat a cold chicken breast.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Like someone bulking up for the high school wrestling team, like just out of the fridge and some baby carrots. Wow. It just doesn't, the idea is, Like, I only recently was like, I will make eggs. And I will not burn them.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Where do you guys get Thai from?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
You ever go to Anna Jack?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Definitely voted best restaurant in LA. It's like a night market, which I know they're probably like, hey, it's not like each other. But it's like cool guy, like natural wines. The food is outstanding. You got to go. Go on a date night. Do not bring your child.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Do not bring that baby. Nobody wants to see that baby.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
No one wants to hear that baby crying. Nobody wants to see that baby. You got to go. They do like a Thai taco Tuesday. And then all the food is just go in another couple and be prepared to like
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
whip yourself into a whirling dervish of like natural wines and spicy food it's so fun do you enjoy going in public with your children i do yeah i do i mean look the little one is so little and so it's like i guess you're just like in a thing but i love taking my daughter and we you know we don't we let her sit at the table and she kind of just joins us in the conversation she's not an ipad baby no um and she just sits there and she eats a lot of sour cream but we like to
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I'm just so proud of her, and it's like being out with her, and I'm just enjoying it, and she won't be little forever. What's her name? Then you hit a wall. Sierra. It's a great one. The most beautiful name in the world.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Did you already know that? By the way, it's great for an hour, and then it's like, okay, you know what? You're tired. We're going to go.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
If we don't take her in public, they get tired and you're like, you're being bad. It's like, oh, no, you're tired. I took her on the road this weekend. And so I did tell her I was like, you've got to carry your own boarding pass. You've got to carry your little suitcase. So she's like walking with it through the airport. It's adorable.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
No spatial awareness, just like running into crotches like left and right. But we got on the escalator. So that's me with my backpack, her car seat on my back, my bag. Also her bag. And I'm like, OK, we're going to jump. And it's like your whole core. And I get her on the escalator and then she just starts to drift up. And I was like, fuck, I have to be with you.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
And so it was just me leaping over steps to get her. And it was very sweet because other moms are like, I got her if you need it. I've got her. People leap into action when they see you like deeply struggling. And it was fine. You want to you want to conquer it.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
How do you lose a big candle? Yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
It's not because really good perfume like has to be that is thousands and thousands of flowers crushed down to make like half an ounce of fragrance. If it's nice versus like garbage, that's like half water. But yeah, like when you get like the essence of something, when you get really nice perfume like this is pounds and pounds.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
of flowers and essences and things that have like that is that are crafted the candle. I mean, maybe if it's beeswax, you got to harvest the wax or if it's soy, I don't know. But like some of these candles are just $800 for a big thing. Like, what are we doing here? Who's going to disrupt this industry?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Listen to me. You don't want a $10 candle. We're past that. Now we know. We talked about this, I think, before. You don't want a cheap candle.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
You say soy only? I think it's supposed to be soy only. There's like a clean burn way to do it. And there's a way that they're supposed to burn. Like there's a whole art to it.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I didn't get that part. Because it feels hot. But if you blow it, then there's smoke. But if you dip it, no smoke.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
It's called mushrooming. You don't want it to mushroom.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I have them on tour, but it's not a candle company. But yeah, I just happen to know that. Wow. Because it is ugly.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
This is why you watch your comedy specials.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
There's actually a whole thing at the end, like a whole appendix at the end where I just give like tips and tricks on how to burn candles.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
following well the special is called a different animal it's out on amazon prime check it out eliza this has been so much fun this was so casual thank you for having me to your vitamin company thank you for supporting the cause oh my god remember that i remember it anything else you want to plug while you're here i have a podcast and i always forget to plug it okay
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
For more tips and tricks on how to be a human, I actually have a podcast called Ask Eliza Anything. We do live tapings, and it is the podcast where the listeners are the guests, so people writing questions from all over the world, things that you're afraid to ask your friends and your families and your loved ones, and we give you the truth that you need to know. Who's we?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
It's mine.