Iliza Shlesinger
speaker
495 appearances
4 recordings
3 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Apr 2025
Iliza Shlesinger’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I don't think you have to do it. I think it just does it. It just falls out by the 11th? No, but I just think if you did one and you wanted 11, I think by that eighth one, you're just like, you yawn. You're like, oh, there it goes. I think it does get easier.
The second one was easier. I was like all ready to push. I was like, here we go. And they're like, here he is.
I'm not going to sit here and be like, I do it all like I have help. But I did get like this morning had a very emotional talk with the nanny. She's like, you got she's Jamaican. And I do a terrible Jamaican accent. She's like, you do not pay enough attention to him. And I was like, yeah, because we have you.
And she was right. And I felt really bad. And I was like, I have to pull it together. And I was just like, but he's a boy. And so he's extra strong and extra squirmy. And I'm like, it's not the funnest hang to hold. It's like holding a crocodile or an alligator. It's just rolling. And my daughter's three. So I was like, but you can't just put him off until he gets older. Then we'll hang out.
Oh, really? I take all the notes from her because she knows better than I. And she was our daughter's nanny. So anything I didn't know, we just asked Myrna. And so everything I know now is because of how she did it.
It was an accident.
She was she was we were in line at Ralph's. No, I we had hired a nanny because that's in my mind. I was like this. I was going to go. I'm going to spend my money on this. I'm going to have a baby nurse that lives with us. I'm not I'm a touring comic. Like I've got like three jobs. Like I'm not getting up in the night longer than I have to.
I don't care what anyone thinks about that because you would, too, if you could. And I had her all. Her name was Cheryl. I had her all set. I had done like a FaceTime with her. I'm like, great. I sent her the deposit of like a couple thousand dollars. I'm like. Four weeks before I was going to give birth, she sends me these really grainy videos of her not feeling well.
And I was like, this feels like a scam. And then she sent me one of her in a hospital. She was like, oh, I've got bronchitis or something. Was it the same picture that the Brad Pitt used? Oh, my God. That is so funny. This predates that, but that is so funny. And I was like, why is your head on? Why are you white? And she was, and so I was just like, okay, well, I'm sorry. I hope you're okay.
But like, what about that money? She was like, I'm going to send you my cousin. And I was like, I don't know your cousin. Like, I don't really know you, but like I had my heart set on you. Myrna just showed up. She sent her the money, the deposit. I came home from the hospital and there was Myrna, took my baby and she's been with us. That was it. Wow.
When you are that vulnerable, you're like, okay, here, sure. You seem trustworthy. I need to go take a shower. I'm going to wash this blood off you. And that's great. And she's great. And she lives with you still? She came back. She was the first person I called when I got pregnant with my son before my parents. And I was like, can you get back here? And so she did. And she lives with us.
And I hope she never leaves. But at some point, I'll have to learn how to be a mother of two.
Good on paper. It's on Netflix. You can watch it now.
He is. Bachelor alum. That was my, that was our big star pull. We got Tyler Cameron and he had a cute little scene.
Yeah.
Yeah. Nothing happened to him. He was very nice. Very nice man.
OK, yeah.
can remind or inform for the first time. It's basically a story about this movie that I made as a few years old now, but it's about me dating a sociopath. And it's this like story where you meet someone and they tell you all these amazing things.
And my story is a little bit different because this wasn't this movie sort of falls into that like weird category of the Tinder swindler and like those kind of things or Dirty John, like those kind of things. My movie came out before all that. And I do think that these things happen, especially to women, but more than we realize. And it's only now that people are talking about it.
But I basically met someone. We were friends. And then eventually we started dating. And I learned that every single thing he had said about himself was a lie. And where my story differs from others is that he wasn't telling me things like, oh, I'm a prince or I've got billions of dollars. He just like said he went to like a good school and like worked at a hedge fund.
Showing 21–40 of 495 · page 2 of 25
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