Isaiah McKimmie

Yeah, absolutely.

And I think we have to be aware that any kind of physical touch, not any kind, but loving physical touch is going to help us release oxytocin.

Oxytocin is a bonding hormone that also helps us feel more trusting.

So if we're getting lots of touch, especially when we're out in public, that can feel really good, can increase these feelings of trust towards this person.

But we have to make sure there's actually another basis for that trust underneath as well.

I think communication is always the most important part of this.

Understanding what is going on for the other person, how it feels when they're not getting the touch that feels really good for them or how it feels when they're being asked for touch that doesn't feel good and being able to understand each other's perspective on that.

I think any relationship, we're often going to have

different needs and it's how do we work together to meet you know as many of each person's needs as possible and and can we meet enough of each other's needs to make the relationship work it's really the same with sex and the same with the same with physical affection

Yeah, it absolutely can change based on the circumstances for some people.

Like absolutely, as they learn that a relationship is safe and that touch is safe and that touch is okay, then they can be more open to it.

Whereas if someone just...

I think it depends where people sit on this and also what else they're being asked to compromise and also where else they might align.

And this is really a question for anything that a couple doesn't align on.

Am I willing to change this?

Does it feel okay for me to try to change this because I care about the other person?

Or does this feel like a giving up of who I am?

And

sometimes, you know, as we were speaking about, it's because this wasn't normal or this wasn't safe in childhood.

And so as the relationship becomes more safe, then it actually feels just really natural and normal to engage in this.