Jaackmate (Jack)

She was like, yeah, nothing's happening.

And then she got the fucking epidural, which sucks to get.

It's mental.

Is that the needle in the spot?

Yeah, so it's a painkiller.

And in order to get the painkiller, they do it in the most painful way.

It'd be like, before we give you a vasectomy, we're going to numb the area.

But the way we're going to numb the area is we're just going to fucking punch it.

until it doesn't feel anymore.

And like, that's the medicine.

Like, oh, we know childbirth sucks.

We know it's the worst pain in the world.

So what we've done is we've invented the second most painful thing in the fucking world.

Do you want that, ladies?

It's a real fucked system.

And then...

Like with my second kid, they woke us up for my daughter's birth.

It got to like two in the morning, my wife's contractions were miles apart.

And she looked at me and she was like, just close your eyes if you can get any sleep, just get, who knows how long this will fucking take.

And then my wife fell asleep, but apparently three hours later, her midwife came in at the tap.