James Cordova

And there's a deep sense of both generosity and I think humility in that stance.

Like we're all just doing our best out here, right?

This complicated collection of things that I'm super proud of about who I am and the way in which I'm really just a rolling dumpster fire, right?

And what elicits that deep sense of intimacy and intimate safety in a relationship is knowing that my partner can see what a dumpster fire I am

And is accepting of that.

Like loves me, again, not even anyway, but almost because.

And when I can offer that to her, that is a, that's a relationship that will stand the test of time.

Yeah.

One of the things that I remember...

is the quality of my wife that was most delightful for me, most attractive to me when I was first getting to know her, is just how tender-hearted she is, how open-hearted she is in the world.

And the example that comes up for me is my wife is one of these people that when we're driving down the road, if I'm the first person to see roadkill, I try to distract her from that.

Like, look over there.

Because to her, when she sees an animal that has been killed or hurt on the side of the road, it is heartbreaking every time.

Her mind immediately goes to the life that that little creature could have lived, the family that that little creature has that's probably missing them.

And every time, she weeps.

And I've always found that deep compassion for others just gorgeous.

And, of course, that tenderheartedness is...

simultaneously part of what makes her so sensitive to teasing.

So the very thing that I find so beautiful about her soul is also the thing that can sometimes be challenging for me in that the rough and tumble of teasing is not gentle enough for her.

It's like learning how to play the guitar.