James Sexton

Like, how do you fight?

Like, how do we, you know, like most people learn how to fight when they're in a fight.

Why?

Like, why wouldn't you early in a relationship when there's an abundance of optimism and love between the two people say, hey, you know what?

We're going to have an argument someday.

What's that look like?

Like, are you somebody that needs a minute, you know, like so that you can kind of calm down and get yourself into, you know, process your own emotions?

Or are you somebody that's like, we got to figure this out tonight.

We can't go to bed angry because I want to I want to be good at this.

I want to be good at this.

So like, but we don't encourage that.

We have this perception that we should just be it should be so easy.

Like we should just it should.

And if it's not, well, then you must pick the wrong person.

And I just I just don't think that's true.

I think that it's like anything.

I think that you have to you know, you have to I think our work is actually quite similar in the sense that I think relationships just like nutrition, diet, exercise are just lots of little things.

You know, it's lots of little choices that you make along the way and consistency and no single raindrops responsible for the flood.

know and i think it's really just about like how do we how do we really stay present in cultivating what's important to us long term do you think these kinds of skills can be taught or do you think we're ultimately all just doomed to repeat the patterns that we grew up around i think in the absence of reflection on it we are doomed to repeat the patterns that we grew up around or the patterns that we've established

as a function of those traumas or the ways we were raised or the experiences we've had, the ways we've been hurt.