James Sexton

Like they're kind to me and they're always gonna be kind to me.

They're funny and they're always gonna be funny.

They're sexy to me and they're always gonna be sexy to me.

We're deeply sexually attracted to each other and we're always gonna be that.

Thinking that it'll never change, it'll never transform because we're constantly changing, right?

So thinking that we're not gonna change and thinking that we're definitely gonna change, those are two really dangerous things.

And what do they lead to?

They lead to small disconnections and resentment.

Then I think I think the earliest sign of a relationship starting what I would call the downward spiral is You start to count Like keeping a scorecard and then you start using the scorecard so so it becomes things like

Why should I leave him a note?

He hasn't said a nice thing to me all week.

And then he's going to go, why should I be nice to her?

She hasn't talked to me once this week.

Well, why should I talk to him?

The last two times I talked to him, he was just... And this is just a downward spiral.

And by the way, you're right.

you're right like we're not we don't have sex like we used to like we don't sleep together as much anymore well you're we don't you don't talk to me as much as you used to i don't talk to you as much because every time i talk to you we get an argument why we get an argument because you dismiss everything i say and you assume it's bad faith okay you're both right now what you don't have to be married guys you don't have to be in a relationship like it's you know you can leave or

you could reverse that spiral really easy by just changing the direction of it.

Because that same concept of like, well, you're not this, so I'm not gonna this.

Well, you're not this, so I'm not gonna this.