Jefferson Fisher

And you feel like you have a little bit more control over the conversation because you said it. There's a difference between me saying, let's say I'm feeling defensive about a situation, and all of a sudden I just go, that's not true. That's not what I mean. Wait, wait, wait. You think that, and I start getting defensive. That's me acting on it. True power says... I can tell I'm getting defensive.

As if I'm taking that emotion, that card, and I'm putting it on the table. And I'm pointing the person to that card on the table and say, that right there, that's what I'm feeling. It's not what I am. I'm not acting out loud. I'm not raising my voice. I'm not drawing out the spikes.

As if I'm taking that emotion, that card, and I'm putting it on the table. And I'm pointing the person to that card on the table and say, that right there, that's what I'm feeling. It's not what I am. I'm not acting out loud. I'm not raising my voice. I'm not drawing out the spikes.

As if I'm taking that emotion, that card, and I'm putting it on the table. And I'm pointing the person to that card on the table and say, that right there, that's what I'm feeling. It's not what I am. I'm not acting out loud. I'm not raising my voice. I'm not drawing out the spikes.

I am, with emotional intelligence, pulling that card out, putting it on the table, and saying, that's the card that I have right there. What's your card? And that's what people do. They naturally want to reciprocate that every time. This is what I mean by reciprocate. Have you ever, for anybody who's a parent, in any situation, you've talked with a child.

I am, with emotional intelligence, pulling that card out, putting it on the table, and saying, that's the card that I have right there. What's your card? And that's what people do. They naturally want to reciprocate that every time. This is what I mean by reciprocate. Have you ever, for anybody who's a parent, in any situation, you've talked with a child.

I am, with emotional intelligence, pulling that card out, putting it on the table, and saying, that's the card that I have right there. What's your card? And that's what people do. They naturally want to reciprocate that every time. This is what I mean by reciprocate. Have you ever, for anybody who's a parent, in any situation, you've talked with a child.

A child comes to you and they're running and they're upset. You can tell they're upset about something. Do you as a parent go, what's wrong with you? Stop that. Stop that right now. What are you doing? You don't even know the situation yet. You're just going, what are you doing? Get out of here. Go. I don't want to see this. No. I hope you're not that way. I hope nobody's been with you that way.

A child comes to you and they're running and they're upset. You can tell they're upset about something. Do you as a parent go, what's wrong with you? Stop that. Stop that right now. What are you doing? You don't even know the situation yet. You're just going, what are you doing? Get out of here. Go. I don't want to see this. No. I hope you're not that way. I hope nobody's been with you that way.

A child comes to you and they're running and they're upset. You can tell they're upset about something. Do you as a parent go, what's wrong with you? Stop that. Stop that right now. What are you doing? You don't even know the situation yet. You're just going, what are you doing? Get out of here. Go. I don't want to see this. No. I hope you're not that way. I hope nobody's been with you that way.

Most of the time what happens is you lower your guard and you go, what is it, baby? Wait, wait, wait. What is it? What's going on? Just tell him. You upset? Tell me. Like you naturally, all of a sudden, want to regulate your system to match theirs. That's what happens in everyday conversation. When you can tell them the, I can tell I'm feeling nervous.

Most of the time what happens is you lower your guard and you go, what is it, baby? Wait, wait, wait. What is it? What's going on? Just tell him. You upset? Tell me. Like you naturally, all of a sudden, want to regulate your system to match theirs. That's what happens in everyday conversation. When you can tell them the, I can tell I'm feeling nervous.

Most of the time what happens is you lower your guard and you go, what is it, baby? Wait, wait, wait. What is it? What's going on? Just tell him. You upset? Tell me. Like you naturally, all of a sudden, want to regulate your system to match theirs. That's what happens in everyday conversation. When you can tell them the, I can tell I'm feeling nervous.

Does the other person go, good, I hope you are nervous. Yeah. No, they don't. The natural reaction is, no, it's okay to be nervous. What's going on? What happens? What do you have? It's okay. See, they naturally regulate their system. They will mirror how you're feeling. There is a attorney that I know, and I know it's not a strategy, but it's brilliant, and it works, and I've seen it.

Does the other person go, good, I hope you are nervous. Yeah. No, they don't. The natural reaction is, no, it's okay to be nervous. What's going on? What happens? What do you have? It's okay. See, they naturally regulate their system. They will mirror how you're feeling. There is a attorney that I know, and I know it's not a strategy, but it's brilliant, and it works, and I've seen it.

Does the other person go, good, I hope you are nervous. Yeah. No, they don't. The natural reaction is, no, it's okay to be nervous. What's going on? What happens? What do you have? It's okay. See, they naturally regulate their system. They will mirror how you're feeling. There is a attorney that I know, and I know it's not a strategy, but it's brilliant, and it works, and I've seen it.

He is not an attorney of... He's not very tall. He's a smaller guy. And when he gets in front of people, he gets extremely nervous. Yet, it makes him incredibly effective in the courtroom. When he goes in... And you might have, I've seen it where somebody else he's against is big, grandiose, taking up lots of space. He takes up very small space.

He is not an attorney of... He's not very tall. He's a smaller guy. And when he gets in front of people, he gets extremely nervous. Yet, it makes him incredibly effective in the courtroom. When he goes in... And you might have, I've seen it where somebody else he's against is big, grandiose, taking up lots of space. He takes up very small space.

He is not an attorney of... He's not very tall. He's a smaller guy. And when he gets in front of people, he gets extremely nervous. Yet, it makes him incredibly effective in the courtroom. When he goes in... And you might have, I've seen it where somebody else he's against is big, grandiose, taking up lots of space. He takes up very small space.

When he goes up for an opening argument, this is what he says first. He kind of almost shakes in his voice, which, of course, you know this happens to a lot of people, is he'll go, hey, everybody, I just want to let you know I get very shy and nervous in front of other people. But that's not going to stop me from representing my client.