Jefferson Fisher

When you're having that bad argument with your spouse or a significant other, it keeps you up at night. It begins to live and seep, and now you're having to put on an act for your kids when really you're irritated at each other and you want to lash out. Being quick to apologize and quick to resolve that makes our arguments very short because we're fast to say, that's not what I meant.

When you're having that bad argument with your spouse or a significant other, it keeps you up at night. It begins to live and seep, and now you're having to put on an act for your kids when really you're irritated at each other and you want to lash out. Being quick to apologize and quick to resolve that makes our arguments very short because we're fast to say, that's not what I meant.

Or I can see how that's how you would take it. I didn't mean it that way. I didn't intend it that way. Whenever you can push out your intentions rather than pushing how they should react, it's a big difference. What I mean by that is here I am taking the accountability of I could have done better communicating that versus why would you behave that way?

Or I can see how that's how you would take it. I didn't mean it that way. I didn't intend it that way. Whenever you can push out your intentions rather than pushing how they should react, it's a big difference. What I mean by that is here I am taking the accountability of I could have done better communicating that versus why would you behave that way?

Why would you even behave that way when I said this? Who reacts like that? So when you take the responsibility for being understood, radical things can change.

Why would you even behave that way when I said this? Who reacts like that? So when you take the responsibility for being understood, radical things can change.

There are times when, and again, I'm not pointing to where people are in toxic relationships, people with narcissistic tendencies. Yes, that can be circular and terrible. I'm not saying you should just apologize to apologize. What I'm communicating is, Whenever there is a friction in the conversation, we make sure that it doesn't get heated. In other words, it doesn't combust and turn into flame.

There are times when, and again, I'm not pointing to where people are in toxic relationships, people with narcissistic tendencies. Yes, that can be circular and terrible. I'm not saying you should just apologize to apologize. What I'm communicating is, Whenever there is a friction in the conversation, we make sure that it doesn't get heated. In other words, it doesn't combust and turn into flame.

It is trying to draw it out by unraveling the knot and going, okay, this is how I understood it. What did you hear? Okay, that's not what I intended at all. I'm sorry. What I meant to say was X, Y, and Z. So the quicker you can get to that, the better. Right.

It is trying to draw it out by unraveling the knot and going, okay, this is how I understood it. What did you hear? Okay, that's not what I intended at all. I'm sorry. What I meant to say was X, Y, and Z. So the quicker you can get to that, the better. Right.

Yeah, they can sense it.

Yeah, they can sense it.

I want to make sure I tell you, right along with that, this happened sometime last year with my son, who is now seven. And I got home, long day, suit and tie, and I'm starting to make their lunches for tomorrow. Son asked me, you know, how your day was, Dad? And I said, I was fine, buddy. It was good. It was a good day. How was your day? And I'm continuing to make the sandwich.

I want to make sure I tell you, right along with that, this happened sometime last year with my son, who is now seven. And I got home, long day, suit and tie, and I'm starting to make their lunches for tomorrow. Son asked me, you know, how your day was, Dad? And I said, I was fine, buddy. It was good. It was a good day. How was your day? And I'm continuing to make the sandwich.

And he doesn't bring it up again. We go on about dinner and bedtime, bath, everything. I'm sitting on his bed for prayers and song. And first thing he asked was, why did you tell me it was a good day when it wasn't? I kid you not, that is exactly what he said. I said, what did you mean? He said, you didn't say it like it was good. You said it like you were sad.

And he doesn't bring it up again. We go on about dinner and bedtime, bath, everything. I'm sitting on his bed for prayers and song. And first thing he asked was, why did you tell me it was a good day when it wasn't? I kid you not, that is exactly what he said. I said, what did you mean? He said, you didn't say it like it was good. You said it like you were sad.

And I mean, it was such a just slap in the face of, I'm never going to say it was just good again. I need to, he needs to hear that from me, even when the day has been bad. He needs to hear when it's been tough. I mean, that's... And it was just this moment of how dare I try to just gloss over the fact that he needs to know that I have hard days too. And that hit me just like a ton of bricks.

And I mean, it was such a just slap in the face of, I'm never going to say it was just good again. I need to, he needs to hear that from me, even when the day has been bad. He needs to hear when it's been tough. I mean, that's... And it was just this moment of how dare I try to just gloss over the fact that he needs to know that I have hard days too. And that hit me just like a ton of bricks.

So yeah, no hiding from him.

So yeah, no hiding from him.