Jenna Trossell
speaker
196 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2019
last heard Jun 2021
Jenna Trossell’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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But I've definitely been in relationships uh with people who were just opening up for the first time and then, you know, took a chance to to date them, and then as soon as they started dating another person besides me, and that person wanted to be monogamous, uh
They broke up with me, which was devastating.
I also was in a triad for a little while and they went overseas.
Uh I I like encouraged them to go overseas together and they decided that they had too much fear around uh being
non monogamous and wanted to be exclusive together and broke up with me on the trip.
I was always really interested in in multiple people at once and I just felt so much shame about it 'cause I didn't have any models for me and and I didn't have anybody to to look at to go, Oh, this is actually really normal.
Um and un i it was it wasn't until I read
Sex at dawn, I think, that I was like, Oh, there's a word for this.
And maybe I am not actually a bad person for for liking more than one person because whenever I tried to be monogamous, I just ended up feeling guilty for being attracted to other people outside of my relationship.
Yeah.
So mononormativity is that idea that monogamy is the way to find true love.
Um people talk about the relationship escalator, which is the idea, you know, that you meet someone and that's the bottom of the escalator.
You s decide to date them and you get on the escalator and then you might um start having sex.
You go up a little bit, you you you you might move into each uh together.
You you're, you know, the escalator's progressing, you have a dog or a pet or something, and then you guys decide to get married, then you have kids, and it ends at the top with death.
Uh
And that's the way that's success is you know, you've stayed together the whole your whole lives and you've died together, and that's the only way that you know true love ends.
Um and that doesn't have to be the way to have a successful relationship.
Uh and I think a lot of polyamorous people really question that assumption and find um successful relationships in a variety of different
uh techniques and and it looks very different to to different people.
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