Jennifer Selby Long
speaker
698 appearances
14 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard May 2025
Jennifer Selby Long’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
in today's more virtual, more global world is you might not feel like getting on that plane. I certainly know I don't at times, but you do need to make complex decisions together and you need to deal with team dynamics together in person.
I really think most leadership teams probably need to be together at least once a quarter in person, despite the personal hardship and the extra cost associated with this. Now, I will say separately, I don't think that the cause or the contributions to politics are as simple as these little catchphrases like power corrupts. Because I see too many leaders who are not corrupted by power.
And I see too many ambitious people who maintain their ethics and integrity all the way up the ladder as they go. And so I don't believe in it as simple or as trite as something like power corrupt. Now, if what I'm saying sounds completely nightly to some of your listeners, I would say to those listeners most emphatically, you have been working at the wrong places, right?
In 30-plus years, I've been coaching and advising leaders. I have a clear uncertainty around this. The majority of leaders are not political animals, if you will. In fact, some situations that seem political on the surface are not as political as they seem, but they're more a matter of... Complete lack of alignment around strategy and not dealing with that.
And some of that stems from people lacking any kind of understanding of how to resolve conflict effectively. Read other people's signals. Adapt to their needs. Read situations. Lead and inspire people to change. These are the more advanced interpersonal skills.
And I will say, certainly, if those are lacking at the top, it tends to trickle down as well and feed these power battles and these political dynamics. And does any of that sound familiar or make sense, Vince, from your point of view?
Yes, both actually. And it's interesting to build, for most businesses, to build a strong team, to build trust among that team, and to not have people competing against one another, but working together. against the competition, right? Directing their competitive myth there. We have ample evidence that for most businesses, that is the way to build your leadership team, right?
And not the way in which you're just looking at each person as a chess piece. And so at times in those situations, you may have someone who is in fact a narcissist, right? That is that thing that is beyond our control. You may have someone who learned that from a prior boss, from their schooling, from their family of origin.
I still think a lot of leaders out there are running around with what I would consider to be an outdate notion of leadership, that it is somehow about results versus results. when what we see largely is that the stronger teams get the better results. And so the two are not holding, but in fact, the one enabled the other.
And so I can say, certainly I've had some clients who were pretty mercenary clients. When I first started working with them and they became some of the most dedicated and devoted clients in the long run, but I really had to crack them open or crack them over the head in a manner of speaking to get them to see this huge, quite naive disconnect that they were making between people and results. Yeah.
And so some of those folks have become some of our best clients and some of our highest performers over the years. Now, as far as what someone would want to do in a situation like that, if they're not, they believe that they're not contributing to these power dynamics, but they're just on the receiving end of them is a little bit different.
And that's where I think you do need to take a look at how you want to approach this. What is most important to you? I think there are five things that you really need to look at. And I think you want to do these more or less in sequence. The first one, interestingly, is to stop fighting. And you won't believe this, but stop venting to not solve problems.
And in fact, staying in that mode of venting and complaining about a situation actually feeds the neural networks that don't resolve anything, right? It feeds the neural networks that are more survival-based, right? To keep you in that more survival-based mode. But actually staying in that mode doesn't help you to be a better problem solver, right?
And if you think of politics as a problem to be solved like any other, you really need to get your brain going with every possible strength that it has. The second one is step back and analyze with a certain curiosity and even some empathy. Be curious about it versus frustrated by it. Even if you can only maintain that curiosity for a few minutes as an alternative to your frustration and anger.
And so say, I'm really curious. I wonder why... someone would think that would produce a good result. I wonder why someone would behave in that way. I wonder what's going on with them. I wonder what kind of a situation they're in. I wonder what they've been instructed in.
And continuing to just stay in this curious mode could give you some insights into the interests of these various people in power. And then you need to look at how are your interests aligned with the interests of these people in power. Right. And if you do have interests that are aligned with some of these people in power, that's when you need to find yourself an ally among those other people.
And get that person to become a co-leader with you in whatever it is that you want to happen, whatever change it is that you want to happen. That's not just someone who says they agree with you, but someone who would step up, put some skin in the game, co-lead with you. Someone who would get as much credit as you get for maybe solving the problem that people were in a power struggle over.
And maybe that person will get even more credit I put myself in situations like that. Even though it's not particularly fair, if it does help to break down those power dynamics, having that ally who is really a co-leader is pretty important. Stay focused on the outcome that you want and the interests and needs of the people involved.
That's really the last real ongoing thing in that little process. approach that I've recommended because the interest and the needs of yourself and the others are what drives really just about everyone's behavior. And staying attuned to those becomes pretty vital to lessening the power struggles, right? And to keeping them at bay over the long time. I think we talked a little bit about how
Sometimes very sort of average people seem to excel in these environments that are politically charged. And one of the surprising reasons is there's maybe 25 to 35 percent of the general population that has a natural temperament that's just generally not bothered as much by political issues.
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