Jenny Taitz
speaker
303 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard 30 Mar
Jenny Taitz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Mar 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Totally. And then you have like a million solutions. And so instead of being like, I'm just an asshole that sends mean text to people, I'm like empowered to see what is the setup. I didn't ask for what I wanted earlier. Then I felt more resentful. Then I used my text instead of picking up the phone. And so there's a lot of tools, but people that think like, oh my God, I set these resolutions.
I can't stick to it. You actually can if you understand what is the domino effect and how do you change each step of the way.
Totally. Instead of I'm an idiot or I'll do better tomorrow.
I'm really struck by certain findings. Like again, I really am passionate about things where things are very serious, like suicide prevention and something as simple. Jerome Motto is one of the first people that created a suicide prevention initiative in the 1930s. He's a psychiatrist and he did something as simple as sending people who left the hospital
A letter that said, I'm thinking of you and hoping you're doing well and no need to respond. And that literally prevented suicide. We don't want to do things either to us or to the people around us. We want to instead take vicious cycles and create virtuous ones and take these moments of pain. I mean, I feel like the moments I feel most proud of are the times where things were really stressful.
It's almost like chiseling your muscles of emotion regulation. I was in a really bad mood that day. I had a shitty day and I was super sweet to my daughter on her way to swim team. Or I was especially nice to like an older person that was in front of me taking forever in the grocery store.
One thing you could do is even thinking about the values, like how do you want to show up in your life? A lot of us are focused on what we want to get. How do we want to be spoken to? How do we want people to know? people to show compassion to us, but how do we want to show up? And so being really clear about regardless of what happens, this is my mission statement.
I'm not going to deviate from this. In students that write briefly about their highest values, years later, they're more able to regulate their emotions and persist with long-term goals. I think also just realizing, is there some sort of word we could say that's funny and playful? Yeah, let's take a minute. This is the whole thing, like distress tolerance is how do we not make things worse?
And then once we came down a few decibels, then we can go to the problem solving. But if there's something we could do to self-soothe, I love this idea of even a hope kit, like a collection of things that gives you a sense of hope, like looking at some pictures that just broaden your view outside of this moment that's not going well to some broader moments of connection and joy.
And so something that could help you realize like, okay, in this moment, this isn't about who's right or who's wrong. This is about me doing what matters most to me and what my highest purpose is. And I am too dysregulated to...
exam and getting a sip of water and then coming back let's try to come back stonewalling is a problem like slamming doors she'll be like hey i think we both need to get some water i know i do yeah in like a lovely way not you made me so upset that i need to like but asking if you can take a minute to do some breathing I think it would be so sweet to do that together.
Like we care too much about each other. Let's try this thing for a minute because things that are so interesting, it's like in the middle of a fight, something funny happens. You forget the fight. Or in the middle of spiraling, someone calls you and they're funny. You could totally stop. And again, it's realizing the channel can change if you let go.
All right. Telling yourself like, okay, we could put this down and pick this up at this time. Because I think we think that we're winning by keeping it going, but we're majorly losing.
But I could tell from listening to you that you are a masterful sentence crafter and you can totally create that.
No, no, but to have faith in yourself.
No, and I too, I'm like driving in the morning and I'm just like... If emotions are high on both ends, even if it's the perfect explanation, the receiver's not going to receive it. And so these are amazing ongoing relationships that it doesn't have to be right then and there.
But I truly believe, again, like using the chain, you could totally look at the things. Repair is beautiful. I mean, repair could leave you closer than before. Yeah. And to even just see the huge thing that John Gottman talks about is even just the startup, how the start of the conversation goes is really going to dictate how it goes. You know, if you can start with like warmth and kindness.
So great. A long time ago.
Yeah. If college students write for three days about something upsetting that happened to them for 20 minutes, the first day, the most upsetting thing, the second day, how it affected your life in the past, third day, how it's affecting you in the present. People that do that 20 minutes, three times, 60 minutes, six months later, they have significant reductions in rumination and depression.
And even for people that have PTSD, five days of specific therapeutic writing, written exposure therapy significantly reduces PTSD. And this has like blown my mind. Memories during trauma or splinters and then it helps you kind of store it properly and again, removes you from the event and creates some working distance.
Showing 261–280 of 303 · page 14 of 16
← Previous
Next →