Jessi

Not a need, or maybe... Drove her to a state of mind.

Drove her to a place where she could even be in that place, yeah.

I would say that that slap in the face that you're talking about was the day that we separated.

That was the biggest aha moment, but I would say it was like an onion.

I had to peel those layers back over the next week, two weeks.

I don't know if you've ever felt this way, but for me, it was the whole time I was so hurt and so traumatized by what happened that I couldn't even see my wife.

I couldn't see...

Her pain or the way that she felt because I was so upset and distraught about what she had done That it only got it only magnified the issues that we had

Yeah, you know, I think in those moments, I felt, are you talking, just so I'm very specific, at what point are you talking about?

Are you talking about prior to the affair, after I found out of the affair, after, you know?

So something that Jesse and I have talked, you know, we've been doing lots of therapy for like the last, you know, it's been almost a year.

You know, one of the things that, you know, our relationship got to a place after the affair where all of our issues were magnified, right?

And before that we had issues.

And it's not an excuse, but during those times it felt like my needs weren't being met.

And that's the way that I would come out.

That's the way I would show my frank, right?

Is...

Because I would get pissed off and I would try to control.

Because that was me screaming inside, hey, like, I want to be treated like a partner.

And you're always busy doing all these other things and appeasing everyone but me.