Jessica Lahey
speaker
877 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2017
last heard Apr 2021
Jessica Lahey’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And it's the reason actually that the the middle school chapter in gift of failure really is the executive function chapter because you can't look at executive function stuff as one, it's not one big skill.
It's, you know, an umbrella over lots of different skills.
And some kids are good at some stuff and some kids are good at other things, and very rarely
Can kids do all of that stuff all the time?
So I break each of the executive function skills into their component skills and then offer ways to help
be the training wheels for those particular skills instead of trying to do it all at once because you can't do it all at once.
It's like that Marie Condo tidying up book.
She doesn't have you tidy up your whole entire house all at once.
She has you tr do clothes first and then the kitchen and that kind of stuff because it's just too overwhelming to do it all at once.
So I think the best there's a couple of books by this woman named uh Wendy Grollnick and she writes about it in a book called something like Anxious Parents, Stressed Out Kids and an and a sort of more wonky book called uh the psychology of parental control.
And in that she does some really cool exer experiments where she looks at how kids who have been directed, uh like overly directed, and how kids who have parents who support their ability to figure it out for themselves instead of just telling them how to do it.
Um, how those kids then handle things when they're with the parents are not around.
And it turns out that the kids who have really directive parents who tell them each new step and teachers do this too.
You know, like when you're teaching the quadratic formula, it's really tempting to say, Okay, do this, now do this, now do this.
No, no, no.
Don't ask any questions about why, just do it this way.
Um, when kids have overly directive parents or teachers, they get used to being told what all the steps are.
And then when they're by themselves,
they get frustrated really easily and they give up more easily.
And kids with autonomy supportive parents and teachers, those kids are gonna have a little bit better emotional wherewithal to stick with something and be frustrated so that they can figure out the next step for themselves.
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