Jessica Lahey
speaker
877 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2017
last heard Apr 2021
Jessica Lahey’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Where would you do it?
What time would you do it?
Um, that kind of stuff.
Asking kids for their input on
helping you solve problems is like a it's revolutionary 'cause they're not used to being asked.
So but I totally get it about not wanting to disturb the peace.
I'm completely guilty of that.
Well, and also that the the big thing that gift of failure is about is about trying to get our kids back into a state where they're intrinsically motivated to want to do stuff, not because we're dangling carrots in front of them or making sticker charts or threatening them or promising to pay them for grades.
And one of the ways we can do that is by engaging them in the process because that's giving them autonomy over the details of their lives.
You know, I make the analogy when when it's cold outside, you don't say to your toddler, Do you want to wear a hat?
You say, Do you want the red hat or the blue hat?
And that gives them some choice and some autonomy while you're still guiding smart choices and
Making kids part of the process of, okay, well, we have trouble getting out of the house every morning.
So what let's write down what you think could be really helpful.
What would be helpful for you in the morning so that you can get out the door?
That's not only solving the problem, that's giving them autonomy, which is one of the three big parts of um of inspiring intrinsic motivation.
Yeah, you know, I get this question a lot because most parents I know use a sticker chart at one point or another, some sort of reward thing at some point or another.
And so here's the thing about extrinsic motivators.
And you mentioned Dan Pink, and I totally recommend Dan Pink, obviously, but I what I the book I really love is the book where he got a lot of his research where it sort of drive starts, which is with a guy named Edward DC who wrote a book called Uh Why We Do What We Do The Science of Self Motivation.
And Dan I actually got a chance to talk to Dan about this recently and he was saying, you know, we have forty years of really, really solid research and not just that solid research, we have meta studies, studies about the studies to show that extrinsic motivators are a disaster when they come to long term focus on things.
Showing 701–720 of 877 · page 36 of 44
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