Jessica Lanyadoo

I don't know if that's going to affect this child.

And that scares me.

So just like hanging out in that.

Because that is not a carceral, punishing, hypervigilant way of holding it.

Even as I say it and we're hanging out there together, there's sadness there for you.

This is what I'm going to say to that.

You've been around kids.

So this is going to click for you, I think.

if you have ever been around a kid you know that they learn things and then they fuck up and they can't keep focus and then they come back to it and they're a little bit better and as an adult being able to hold space for yeah that's not how it's done we do it this way okay yeah you're learning so you're not good at this yet like that's easy for you right yeah

That's what your task is to model for your child as a parent, not perfection.

It's grace with imperfection and accountability, right?

I mean, I'm not saying go smoke a pack of cigarettes.

Like, I'm not saying don't be accountable to your pregnancy.

But you have really a lot of information and really good goals.

You've got good goals for yourself around your physical health and your emotional mental health.

The problem is not the goals.

And the problem, I would say, is not not achieving the goals.

The problem is how you're holding what you perceive as failures.

Like, oh, I could be doing more and I'm just not pushing myself.

Yeah.