Jessica Lanyadoo

Hang out there.

And I want you to know when I said great, I meant it.

Not knowing the answer is not a failure.

It's information, right?

Because when you're in a cycle of

trying to be self-contained, trying to be like a good self-cleaning oven.

Like you're not going to bother anyone with your intensity and all the bananas you've been collecting in your purse, right?

So when you do that, it's really hard to slow down and really think about what was my mental health like in my 20s, like at 22?

What was my mental health like at 25?

What was I like at 28?

It's a worthy investigation because I think you'll find that you've actually gotten better, not great, but marginally better at navigating those feelings.

They were worse.

They were worse.

And the feelings...

from Pluto will always tell you that you are going under.

Pluto is like the undertow in the ocean.

Waves crash and then you're being pulled under by something deeper than you.

And so it is 100% of the time that you feel those kinds of feelings of shameful, just like, fuck is wrong with me feelings to not engage with the content of those feelings, but instead with the feeling of those feelings.

No intellectualization is going to serve you.

None.