Jessica Lanyadoo

This is not a place for children.

Right.

Yeah.

So here's the good news.

You're not supposed to be perfect.

You don't have to be perfect.

You know, as an astrologer who like is like very trauma informed and I look at prenatal conditions and I look at early developmental conditions and

Only thing that you as a parent really need to try for other than, of course, maintaining the child's safety and, you know, all that kind of like basic human stuff is that you are striving to be kind to yourself and to your child.

Ultimately, if you are striving to be kind to yourself, you will be kinder to your child.

And I know that there are some people who think they're being kind to themselves, but they're really narcissists or some people who are really, you know, like I hear where your brain goes.

So your brain goes, yeah, but because you're perfectionistic.

Yes.

So all you can do is work with your nature to overcome your nature.

That's why I say getting rid of shame is a bad goal for you.

It's a terrible goal.

Figuring out ways to navigate the shame that are more accountable and

that are more sustainable, that's a good goal because you can do that.

Not easily, not overnight, but you can do that.

And then with time, that shame spike will come and it'll pass a lot quicker.

You'll start to recognize the things that create shame spikes and you'll develop different tools because right now, because you experience such incredible shame and the sticky emotions attached to it,