Jessica Williams

Like, how noisy is his home? He must have, like, 13 kids, and every one of them is Bernie Sanders. Dead! Dead! Dead! I can't find my toys! The DNC stole them from me! Dead! Dead! But we're just kidding around. This guy is clearly dead. Now, um, the big moment from last night that everyone was talking about, or raving about, rather, was J-Lo and Shakira. They killed it. They really killed it.

Like, how noisy is his home? He must have, like, 13 kids, and every one of them is Bernie Sanders. Dead! Dead! Dead! I can't find my toys! The DNC stole them from me! Dead! Dead! But we're just kidding around. This guy is clearly dead. Now, um, the big moment from last night that everyone was talking about, or raving about, rather, was J-Lo and Shakira. They killed it. They really killed it.

But some people were really pissed that J-Lo pulled out a stripper pole to do some moves. Now, look, I understand some parents might be angry because there are kids who watch the game. So for all those parents, just tell your kid J-Lo's a fireman. All right? Problem solved. Right, and here's another thing. J.Lo spent months learning how to be a professional pole dancer for her movie, Hustlers.

But some people were really pissed that J-Lo pulled out a stripper pole to do some moves. Now, look, I understand some parents might be angry because there are kids who watch the game. So for all those parents, just tell your kid J-Lo's a fireman. All right? Problem solved. Right, and here's another thing. J.Lo spent months learning how to be a professional pole dancer for her movie, Hustlers.

Let me tell you something, if I spent that much time learning how to pole dance, I would be pole dancing every chance I get. I don't care where I am, I would be doing it. I'd be in the subway like, jump on it. Let's do it. Right in my pole lift.

Let me tell you something, if I spent that much time learning how to pole dance, I would be pole dancing every chance I get. I don't care where I am, I would be doing it. I'd be in the subway like, jump on it. Let's do it. Right in my pole lift.

I'm just thankful that Roe v. Wade was finally overturned.

I'm just thankful that Roe v. Wade was finally overturned.

Try that mega shit. Try it. And I'll tell everybody in this room that you use Nana's Wi-Fi to jack off.

Try that mega shit. Try it. And I'll tell everybody in this room that you use Nana's Wi-Fi to jack off.

And I think it should be acknowledged that this dinner is taking place on Cherokee land.

And I think it should be acknowledged that this dinner is taking place on Cherokee land.

Michael, how will Ozempic affect Thanksgiving this year?

Michael, how will Ozempic affect Thanksgiving this year?

Yeah, okay, but isn't that gonna up your metabolism? Oh yeah, big time.

Yeah, okay, but isn't that gonna up your metabolism? Oh yeah, big time.

Okay, okay. Hold on, hold on. Costa, you're putting these drugs up your butt at Thanksgiving table? Won't that weird out your family? Oh, it will. Which is why you'll have to drug your family.

Okay, okay. Hold on, hold on. Costa, you're putting these drugs up your butt at Thanksgiving table? Won't that weird out your family? Oh, it will. Which is why you'll have to drug your family.

Okay, wait, isn't oxytocin the hormone that makes people horny?

Okay, wait, isn't oxytocin the hormone that makes people horny?