You can put this podcast in your ears, but be careful not to inhale. It's The Daily Show's coverage of marijuana through the years and the legal system. Jon Stewart discusses the road to legalization, and research monkeys that know how to party. Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert go head to head over legalization and wife swapping. John Oliver digs into the health benefits of marijuana. Jessica Williams educates Jon on the updates to weed culture. Trevor Noah interviews musician and enthusiast Wiz Khalifa. Jordan Klepper holds it down as the rest of the news team gets distracted. Sarah Silverman talks to the people about newly legal weed. Finally, Michael Kosta reports on the eternal battle between weed and alcohol. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What was the federal advisory panel's stance on medical marijuana?
Don't Bogart that prescription, man. The grooviest federal advisory panel ever has just released a report that claims patients suffering from serious diseases should be allowed to smoke medical marijuana. While critics... All right. While critics contend marijuana is dangerous and often leads to much more addictive substances like laughter and sex. Here's the drug czar where the drugs are.
What I will absolutely support, though, is the notion that... that I think this report very admirably makes, that there are other cannabinoids besides THC.
Ah, yes. The itching and swelling of cannabinoids. And the embarrassment of eating your donut pillow. Doctors are worried about the respiratory effects of smoking marijuana, but there's some good news and some good news. Talk to me, dude.
We recommend development of a rapid-onset but non-smoked delivery system. such as an inhaler, perhaps similar to an asthma inhaler.
Yeah. An inhaler will likely be lauded by 14-year-old shop students, but drastically change the image of the high school burnout. I'm gonna kick your ass after gym. Dork. Research monkeys become addicted to marijuana.
Their desperate parents plea for them to just say, If you go to the zoo and see a gibbon in a beret reciting Ginsburg's howl over the wail of a Coltrane 78, don't worry, you're not high, the monkey is. A new study released earlier in the week reports that monkeys will repeatedly dose themselves with THC, the active ingredient of marijuana, if given the chance.
Researchers found that squirrel monkeys repeatedly pushed a lever to self-administer THC through injection. Though in all fairness, an earlier study had given all of the monkeys glaucoma.
According to the scientists, the monkeys didn't show any sign of being sedated by the drug, though they did show signs of paranoia, claiming they felt like they were in cages while being watched by men in lab coats.
Our next health story should be of particular interest to our teen viewers. Who suffer from crippling glaucoma. For centuries, marijuana has been used as a self-prescribed remedy for the terminal disease known as being alive. But last week, the Supreme Court heard arguments as to whether state initiatives permitting the drug to be used medicinally violate federal law.
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Chapter 2: How did Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell debate medical marijuana legalization?
What's the weather like up your own ass? Tonight's topic, should medical marijuana be legalized? Yes. No. Yes! Yes!
The medical marijuana initiatives in California and New Mexico were approved by the voters solely to help seriously ill patients for whom marijuana offers the only relief from pain. Who could deny an 80-year-old woman a moment of respite from her tortured existence? But I suppose there are a few sick individuals out there who get off on other people suffering, Steven.
Far out, Steve. Groovy point, man. You're blowing my mind. Face it. You and your Dr. Dopes are just hiding behind Grandma's oxygen tent. The real reason you're pushing pro-pot legislation is so you can suck on a tie stick and watch the walls begin to pulse and breathe.
And now that you've duped a few misguided state legislatures, I'm sure we can all look forward to you coming down with a convenient case of glaucoma real soon.
This marijuana is medicine, Steven. I'm pro-people, not pro-pot. Oh, come on, Steve.
You love ganja and the exhilarating rush of freedom and the heightened textural sensations it gives you. Whereas I wouldn't know where to start looking for a dime bag, I'm sure you've got great connections. So let me in on the dirty little secret, Steve. Where do you get your pot?
Steven, just because I support medical marijuana, it's ludicrous to imply that I'm a dope fiend. That's like saying because I support the repeal of the marriage tax penalty that I'm into wife swapping.
Don't change the subject, Steve. You know exactly where I can get my hands on some really deep chronic, don't you? Let's get back to my wife-swapping metaphor.
Fine. Let's. What you're suggesting about my access to sweet Malaysian skunkweed is just as ridiculous as if I said, hey, Stephen Colbert, why don't you and your wife come over some night this week and we can exchange partners?
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Chapter 3: Why did Dr. Sanjay Gupta change his mind about medical marijuana?
Very early studies on mice are now showing the potential of marijuana to kill cancer cells. Hamashe is using marijuana to help him with the pain and nausea from chemotherapy. Residents here are using marijuana for pain, loss of appetite, Parkinson's disease, and dementia.
Oh, right, because, of course, marijuana actually has real medical benefits and can be prescribed by doctors. In fact, dispensaries sell different strains to treat different problems. And on that note, if you want this drug with serious medical benefits to be taken seriously, how about adulting up the names a little bit?
That way, a sick old man doesn't have to ask for a quarter ounce of rainbow diesel funkadelic cheddar, Harmony. But, it's just a suggestion. But I have to give CNN credit where it's due. Sanjay Gupta copped to his error, their weed special answered the most pressing questions about the legitimate medical uses of marijuana, and they also answered a question that absolutely no one has been asking.
What's Piers Morgan like when he's high? LAUGHTER
I'm gonna make a shocking revelation here. I've tried cannabis when I was a young, younger lad, and I've also had to have Vicodin when I broke some ribs, falling off, embarrassingly, a Segway in Santa Monica. And I can tell you that it was the Vicodin, which I was prescribed by my doctor, which gave me a massively higher high than the cannabis ever did.
Okay, this is important. I would like to personally offer $10,000 in reward to anyone who can bring me footage of Piers Morgan falling off that Segway. I mean it. Neither Vicodin nor marijuana nor the purest ecstasy could bring anyone as much joy as that videotape could.
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Chapter 4: What are the medical benefits of marijuana according to CNN's reports?
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Today is... What day is today? Ah, April 20th. And that date, when written in numeric form, indicates that it's time for... Uncle Johnny's, Super Kush, Totally Chillax, Sticky Icky, Informative, Marijuana News Report.
What's up? What's up? I didn't have time to do the whole thing and the...
I honestly look like a rainbow-haired Larry Fine from the Three Stooges right now. 420, man! Best day of the year! My brothers. Let's tune in and drop out and get totally baked on news. And there's one network that gets the groove that I'm grooving.
It's 420, brah. Times are a-changin'. I just legally purchased marijuana. A new movement is growing. One network, one groundbreaking event. It's 420, so grab your favorite munchies and get ready for a night you wouldn't expect on CNN.
Yeah! Like I always say, CNN is cool as f***. And I'm way ahead of you guys. I got the munchies all set. I got my Ben and Jerry's vanilla, whoa, what? I got my Ben and Jerry's vanilla Afikoman crunch. It's basically lactate ice cream with real bits of matzah hidden right inside there. The good news is the more you eat it, the less matzah you have to deal with. All right, first up, weed three.
Take it away, Sanjay. Feel good, pa? Hope he ties up all the loose ends from weeds one and two.
Could marijuana help save veterans? It seems to be helping her PTSD. Using marijuana to treat the symptoms of Alzheimer's. She says marijuana makes her nearly pain-free. He was once suicidal, but Sean now has hope. Hope that comes from this plant.
Well, you me, CNN. I'm ready for weed stock, the whole thing, and you're giving me this. This is an actual news report. What, are you going to bore me with an economics lesson now?
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Chapter 5: How is marijuana culture evolving for younger generations?
This pot story isn't fun at all. It's all about disease and taxes and what about free love and hot boxing and free love hot boxing? Come on, guys!
Get together, dudes! What's... Okay, lose the wig, Wavy Gravy, which is a reference I don't even understand. Nobody knows what you're talking about. Hey, Jess. Happy 420. You chilling? Eeling? Ew. Ew. OK, stop. Enough. Enough. I'm just grooving to the hash, ma. No. No, you're not. You're making everyone look bad. POT isn't just for shirtless old dudes with bongos.
It's a non-addictive, proven effective medical treatment that is now raising much-needed tax revenue for, like, schools, libraries, and roads.
Ooh, look at the square. What? It's 420. Why can't we just sit back, hit the dube, and use a Pink Floyd gatefold album to sift out the seeds in our lid of skunk weed?
What, what? I literally don't know what any of those words mean. Nobody uses record albums to sift their pot. Nobody owns record albums. I mean, like, I do because I'm cool. But what the hell is skunk weed?
You know, it's gunkly. Schwag.
Schwag? What, like free T-shirts? No, like bad weed. There's a such thing as bad weed? You know what? Never mind. Look, this is now, John, and we don't smoke. We vape our scientifically cultivated medical-grade buds that we had hand-delivered using a phone app called Dankstagram. Which times the delivery to show up precisely five minutes before our Thai food. It's great. I gotta vape. I vape.
Oh, really? Which one? You got G-Pen? You got a PAX?
I believe it's a Vicks. It's a vaporizer. It's not a, I add some albuterol sometimes if my allergies are kicking in. You know, pollen in the maze.
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Chapter 6: What is Governor Chris Christie's position on marijuana legalization?
Chapter 7: What is the significance of 4/20 in marijuana culture?
Well, you me, CNN. I'm ready for weed stock, the whole thing, and you're giving me this. This is an actual news report. What, are you going to bore me with an economics lesson now?
It has been over a year now since Colorado legalized recreational marijuana. In February, the state reported a $53 million tax revenue increase.
This pot story isn't fun at all. It's all about disease and taxes and what about free love and hot boxing and free love hot boxing? Come on, guys!
Get together, dudes! What's... Okay, lose the wig, Wavy Gravy, which is a reference I don't even understand. Nobody knows what you're talking about. Hey, Jess. Happy 420. You chilling? Eeling? Ew. Ew. OK, stop. Enough. Enough. I'm just grooving to the hash, ma. No. No, you're not. You're making everyone look bad. POT isn't just for shirtless old dudes with bongos.
It's a non-addictive, proven effective medical treatment that is now raising much-needed tax revenue for, like, schools, libraries, and roads.
Ooh, look at the square. What? It's 420. Why can't we just sit back, hit the dube, and use a Pink Floyd gatefold album to sift out the seeds in our lid of skunk weed?
What, what? I literally don't know what any of those words mean. Nobody uses record albums to sift their pot. Nobody owns record albums. I mean, like, I do because I'm cool. But what the hell is skunk weed?
You know, it's gunkly. Schwag.
Schwag? What, like free T-shirts? No, like bad weed. There's a such thing as bad weed? You know what? Never mind. Look, this is now, John, and we don't smoke. We vape our scientifically cultivated medical-grade buds that we had hand-delivered using a phone app called Dankstagram. Which times the delivery to show up precisely five minutes before our Thai food. It's great. I gotta vape. I vape.
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Chapter 8: What insights does musician Wiz Khalifa share about marijuana and his album?
He claims legalizing sports gambling would add a new source of cash for his state.
Well, there is a difference, though, to be fair. If you smoke too much pot, no one comes to break your knees.
Welcome to the show.
What's up, dude?
This is the second time. So, you, you, I met you backstage now. Yeah. And I got high just meeting you. That's awesome. And I'm not joking, this is the second time. There was one time I was flying out of L.A., and you were ahead of me in the TSA line. Okay. And you had to, like, take everything off. You had, like, hoodies and all that, and you were, like, taking it all off.
And I'm standing behind you. Yeah. And it smelled like every Snoop Dogg album. Yeah, yeah. And I remember on that, I was like, oh, I'm high. And this is like the second time. Is this like, you do this everywhere you go? You inspire people?
Yeah, well, I want people to get... I want you to get stoned for free. You know what I'm saying? Exactly. I'm the homie, you know what I mean?
Humanitarian. Yeah. That's who Wiz Khalifa is. Before we get into the weed, let's talk about the album, though. Rolling Papers 2. 25 songs on the album. That's a lot of songs. Is that something you always planned? Why did you want to have 25 songs on the album?
I've been working on this album for, like, three, close to four years. And early in the process, I asked my fans, like, should I make it a double album or not? And they all told me that I should make it a double album. So it was always my intention to release a lot of music. I just had to figure out a way to make it flow and a way to, you know, put it all together.
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