Jillian Turecki

If you have the belief, they just need to change and be fixed and we're going to be okay. Yeah. You are in for a run for your money because that's actually not true. Like maybe they do have to change more than you, but there are things that you need to change in this dynamic as well.

That's another lie we tell ourselves.

That's another lie we tell ourselves.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you want your partner to change, we're getting into sticky territory. You have to accept your partner for who they are, but also you can have the expectation that they want to grow. And look, I mean, if we're not growing in a relationship, meaning trying new things together and also separately, you know, following our dreams in some way or, you know, even in our own personal lives, just...

If you want your partner to change, we're getting into sticky territory. You have to accept your partner for who they are, but also you can have the expectation that they want to grow. And look, I mean, if we're not growing in a relationship, meaning trying new things together and also separately, you know, following our dreams in some way or, you know, even in our own personal lives, just...

being willing to pick up a book or try a new thing, the relationship's going to get very boring. I mean, that's really what we're trying to do in so many ways in a relationship is how to combat, in a long-term relationship, how do we combat boredom? And really it starts with, are we boredom? becoming more interesting? Are we growing? Are we trying new things?

being willing to pick up a book or try a new thing, the relationship's going to get very boring. I mean, that's really what we're trying to do in so many ways in a relationship is how to combat, in a long-term relationship, how do we combat boredom? And really it starts with, are we boredom? becoming more interesting? Are we growing? Are we trying new things?

Not just are we doing new things together, but are we doing things individually? But if you fundamentally think that your partner needs to completely change who they are, you're not with the right person.

Not just are we doing new things together, but are we doing things individually? But if you fundamentally think that your partner needs to completely change who they are, you're not with the right person.

But if you can accept them for who they are, but also want them to evolve and change certain things about themselves, look, many people will have to come to a moment where they ask themselves, is this enough? You know, like, can I tolerate this? And all I would say is no one is perfect. Everyone's growth is ultimately their own business, their own evolution, their own business.

But if you can accept them for who they are, but also want them to evolve and change certain things about themselves, look, many people will have to come to a moment where they ask themselves, is this enough? You know, like, can I tolerate this? And all I would say is no one is perfect. Everyone's growth is ultimately their own business, their own evolution, their own business.

And people grow in different ways. But if you want an apple, then you have to sit under an apple tree, not sit in like a pear tree. And then expect the apple to come down. So you have to know who your partner is fundamentally and be okay with that.

And people grow in different ways. But if you want an apple, then you have to sit under an apple tree, not sit in like a pear tree. And then expect the apple to come down. So you have to know who your partner is fundamentally and be okay with that.

Not your core ones, no.

Not your core ones, no.

Yes, it is. Or, you know, but always know that like, you know, there's no one who's actually perfect.

Yes, it is. Or, you know, but always know that like, you know, there's no one who's actually perfect.

You know, that does not exist. And I think that, I do think that people know that intellectually, Jay, but I don't, but I still think that a lot of people expect perfection in others. You know, one mistake that many people have made is,