Jillian Turecki

You know, that does not exist. And I think that, I do think that people know that intellectually, Jay, but I don't, but I still think that a lot of people expect perfection in others. You know, one mistake that many people have made is,

It's okay that I'm flawed, but unconsciously I'm looking for this person who's so perfect, who's going to actually make up for the deficits that I have in my personality and make up for the deficits that are actually inside of me.

It's okay that I'm flawed, but unconsciously I'm looking for this person who's so perfect, who's going to actually make up for the deficits that I have in my personality and make up for the deficits that are actually inside of me.

And not listening to themselves.

And not listening to themselves.

Number one, the person who treats you well. And that doesn't mean, I think that, you know, when we're in a relationship for long enough, we will unconsciously hurt each other's feelings. And sometimes we will, even the most mindful of us, will behave or say something or do something that's not filled with a lot of mindfulness. You know, we'll act unconsciously.

Number one, the person who treats you well. And that doesn't mean, I think that, you know, when we're in a relationship for long enough, we will unconsciously hurt each other's feelings. And sometimes we will, even the most mindful of us, will behave or say something or do something that's not filled with a lot of mindfulness. You know, we'll act unconsciously.

but fundamentally you want the person who treats you well, who respects you, who you feel good around. You feel like you can safely express an opinion. You feel like you can be yourself with them. That's so important. I think that is probably one of the most underrated things criteria for choosing a partner is, can you really be yourself with them?

but fundamentally you want the person who treats you well, who respects you, who you feel good around. You feel like you can safely express an opinion. You feel like you can be yourself with them. That's so important. I think that is probably one of the most underrated things criteria for choosing a partner is, can you really be yourself with them?

I'm not talking about be your bad self, your lower self with them, but can you actually be who you are? Do you feel comfortable in your skin when you're with this person? Or do you have to hide parts of yourself so that they can accept you. So I think that's the most important thing. And so someone with whom you share values, someone with whom, can you agree on what a life well lived is?

I'm not talking about be your bad self, your lower self with them, but can you actually be who you are? Do you feel comfortable in your skin when you're with this person? Or do you have to hide parts of yourself so that they can accept you. So I think that's the most important thing. And so someone with whom you share values, someone with whom, can you agree on what a life well lived is?

Because you can have, there can be a wonderful connection with someone, but to them, they want to live a nomadic lifestyle. And you're like, no, no, no, I want to root and have children. Like, It's not going to work. You might have a great love affair, but you're never going to work long term. So agreeing on what a life well lived is, there's some compatibility and just in terms of core values.

Because you can have, there can be a wonderful connection with someone, but to them, they want to live a nomadic lifestyle. And you're like, no, no, no, I want to root and have children. Like, It's not going to work. You might have a great love affair, but you're never going to work long term. So agreeing on what a life well lived is, there's some compatibility and just in terms of core values.

I think that's incredibly important because when in the duration of your relationship, things get really hard. Life happens. Family members die. maybe illness happens, money, whatever it is, it's your values. It's not your sex life. It's your values, like as you were saying, that it's not attraction or chemistry. It's your values that are going to really keep you together.

I think that's incredibly important because when in the duration of your relationship, things get really hard. Life happens. Family members die. maybe illness happens, money, whatever it is, it's your values. It's not your sex life. It's your values, like as you were saying, that it's not attraction or chemistry. It's your values that are going to really keep you together.

And I think it's, you know, that person who... If you had to be stranded on a desert island, like that would be the person you'd want to choose. And that's how you know.

And I think it's, you know, that person who... If you had to be stranded on a desert island, like that would be the person you'd want to choose. And that's how you know.

And all their little eccentricities that annoy you and like maybe they're not as neat in the kitchen as you would like or maybe they're not exactly the height or, you know, maybe they've got some stuff that like you can go down a list and be like, that's not my preference. Those are the things you need to tolerate and accept. Yeah. Because they have the other things of values.

And all their little eccentricities that annoy you and like maybe they're not as neat in the kitchen as you would like or maybe they're not exactly the height or, you know, maybe they've got some stuff that like you can go down a list and be like, that's not my preference. Those are the things you need to tolerate and accept. Yeah. Because they have the other things of values.

You enjoy being touched by them. You enjoy kissing them. Like there's attraction there. You agree on what a life well lived is. And you really feel comfortable being who you are when you're with them.