Jillian Turecki

Like, do we need a little bit of levity? Like, do we need a little bit of lightness? Have we been too bogged down with their routines? Are we talking about the relationship too much? And we need to have like some fun. then do something new, do something fun.

Do something that you would have done in the first three months of your relationship, few years in, and watch the change happen in your relationship and build it into your weekly routine or at least your monthly routine. If your relationship is kind of feeling, you're feeling a little disconnected, right? So it's not the lack of levity, but there's the lack of connection. Get vulnerable.

Do something that you would have done in the first three months of your relationship, few years in, and watch the change happen in your relationship and build it into your weekly routine or at least your monthly routine. If your relationship is kind of feeling, you're feeling a little disconnected, right? So it's not the lack of levity, but there's the lack of connection. Get vulnerable.

Maybe connect in the bedroom or outside of the bedroom. Have a real heart-to-heart. Maybe do something new that's also very bonding. Touch each other. And I'm not even talking in a sexual way, but are you touching each other? Like, do you put a hand on the leg or on the shoulder? Are you being present with each other? Again, this is the part that's mindfulness.

Maybe connect in the bedroom or outside of the bedroom. Have a real heart-to-heart. Maybe do something new that's also very bonding. Touch each other. And I'm not even talking in a sexual way, but are you touching each other? Like, do you put a hand on the leg or on the shoulder? Are you being present with each other? Again, this is the part that's mindfulness.

And it really, sometimes it's so little that has a huge ripple effect. And it's just a matter of, oh, this is what we need. And one of you take the leadership role in that way. Be like, okay, let's do this. I really want to do this. It shouldn't be framed as like, oh, you know, we need this otherwise. It's just like, I would really love this. Wouldn't this be so lovely if...

And it really, sometimes it's so little that has a huge ripple effect. And it's just a matter of, oh, this is what we need. And one of you take the leadership role in that way. Be like, okay, let's do this. I really want to do this. It shouldn't be framed as like, oh, you know, we need this otherwise. It's just like, I would really love this. Wouldn't this be so lovely if...

And sometimes it's just, let me change something in me. Maybe it's not even a conversation with your partner. It's how you're showing up. Maybe you've grown a little complacent towards the relationship, towards your life, towards anything.

And sometimes it's just, let me change something in me. Maybe it's not even a conversation with your partner. It's how you're showing up. Maybe you've grown a little complacent towards the relationship, towards your life, towards anything.

Maybe you need to shake things up a little bit inside yourself and bring a little bit more of the part of you because we all have so many different parts to our psyche and our personality. Maybe bring a little bit more of what you brought in the beginning of the relationship now. kind of always does the trick if people are willing.

Maybe you need to shake things up a little bit inside yourself and bring a little bit more of the part of you because we all have so many different parts to our psyche and our personality. Maybe bring a little bit more of what you brought in the beginning of the relationship now. kind of always does the trick if people are willing.

Well, if they're just in the shock and the pain of just broken up. After that, yeah. Yeah, I would say after that, because in the beginning, it's more just like, how can I survive and who's going to support me, right? But when you're sort of out of that initial shock of pain, you're still hurt and you're still sad, but you're ready to self-reflect.

Well, if they're just in the shock and the pain of just broken up. After that, yeah. Yeah, I would say after that, because in the beginning, it's more just like, how can I survive and who's going to support me, right? But when you're sort of out of that initial shock of pain, you're still hurt and you're still sad, but you're ready to self-reflect.

One of the hardest things to do, yet most important things to do, and maybe you'll never 100% get clear, is how did I contribute to whatever... did not work, and how did they contribute?

One of the hardest things to do, yet most important things to do, and maybe you'll never 100% get clear, is how did I contribute to whatever... did not work, and how did they contribute?

It's so hard not to go into the blame game and just blame them for everything and blame ourselves for anything, but true self-reflection when it comes to the end of a relationship is, can I have some clarity around some of the patterns that I have that have contributed to whatever didn't work? And can I get clear about what they did and what their patterns were that really didn't work?

It's so hard not to go into the blame game and just blame them for everything and blame ourselves for anything, but true self-reflection when it comes to the end of a relationship is, can I have some clarity around some of the patterns that I have that have contributed to whatever didn't work? And can I get clear about what they did and what their patterns were that really didn't work?

And that's a process and it's a journey of self-reflection, but I think that is absolutely important. So start with what are some of the ways in which maybe I have contributed to what didn't work? Is there something in my self-esteem that needs to be worked on? Is there something that I learned from childhood that maybe isn't working?

And that's a process and it's a journey of self-reflection, but I think that is absolutely important. So start with what are some of the ways in which maybe I have contributed to what didn't work? Is there something in my self-esteem that needs to be worked on? Is there something that I learned from childhood that maybe isn't working?

And then to add to that is, what did I contribute that really worked? What are my strengths in relationship? Because you have to reflect on that too. How was I really, really loving? Maybe I was too loving to a fault, but I'm still loving. And I'd rather be too loving to a fault than not loving at all. So those are some of the questions that we need to ask ourselves. And these are hard.