Jillian Turecki

And then to add to that is, what did I contribute that really worked? What are my strengths in relationship? Because you have to reflect on that too. How was I really, really loving? Maybe I was too loving to a fault, but I'm still loving. And I'd rather be too loving to a fault than not loving at all. So those are some of the questions that we need to ask ourselves. And these are hard.

I've gone through tremendous heartbreak and just having to go through that. But I was so hell bent on, I don't want this to ever happen again. So what do I have to do? And look, accountability in a relationship works. Wherever the relationship is in the beginning, middle or end is the most important thing.

I've gone through tremendous heartbreak and just having to go through that. But I was so hell bent on, I don't want this to ever happen again. So what do I have to do? And look, accountability in a relationship works. Wherever the relationship is in the beginning, middle or end is the most important thing.

If you cannot take responsibility for being another human being in this dynamic, then you are essentially a nightmare to be in a relationship with. And I hate to be so blunt, but it's true. Accountability is everything. It's not about taking all the blame. But we have to be able to own our stuff.

If you cannot take responsibility for being another human being in this dynamic, then you are essentially a nightmare to be in a relationship with. And I hate to be so blunt, but it's true. Accountability is everything. It's not about taking all the blame. But we have to be able to own our stuff.

And when two people are doing that, I really think that there's tremendous healing that can happen between two people if they're willing to do that.

And when two people are doing that, I really think that there's tremendous healing that can happen between two people if they're willing to do that.

No one is perfect. Figure out what you can tolerate and what you can't tolerate.

No one is perfect. Figure out what you can tolerate and what you can't tolerate.

You don't have to lean on your husband when you're going through a miscarriage. You just lean on your mother and your sister. That was the worst advice that I got from a therapist.

You don't have to lean on your husband when you're going through a miscarriage. You just lean on your mother and your sister. That was the worst advice that I got from a therapist.

Yeah, a therapist. He said that to me.

Yeah, a therapist. He said that to me.

Very confusing. I understand when you're in a relationship that your partner should not be your only confidant. That it's really important to have some community or other people around you that you go to. Like you don't have to go to your partner for every single thing. You gotta have other sources.

Very confusing. I understand when you're in a relationship that your partner should not be your only confidant. That it's really important to have some community or other people around you that you go to. Like you don't have to go to your partner for every single thing. You gotta have other sources.

But if you're going through a miscarriage and you can't lean on your partner, to me, that sounds insane. But I think her intention was don't lean on him for everything. And so I took that on as, oh, my God, I'm being too dependent or being too codependent. And it was very confusing. And it was only later on when I started to do this work.

But if you're going through a miscarriage and you can't lean on your partner, to me, that sounds insane. But I think her intention was don't lean on him for everything. And so I took that on as, oh, my God, I'm being too dependent or being too codependent. And it was very confusing. And it was only later on when I started to do this work.

where I recognize that that was the worst piece of advice I've ever received ever from anyone. Especially in that situation. Especially in that situation. And I could not disagree with it more. That's exactly who you should be leaning on. And it's exactly who you should feel safe leaning on.

where I recognize that that was the worst piece of advice I've ever received ever from anyone. Especially in that situation. Especially in that situation. And I could not disagree with it more. That's exactly who you should be leaning on. And it's exactly who you should feel safe leaning on.

Save yourself. And choose someone who's going to have your back while you do that.