Jillian Turecki

You know, it really could be someone who's 70% of the quote unquote problem and someone who's 30%. But if you can see that your relationship or your life is really the product of the choices that you make, and that it's not your fault if you didn't learn. We're all trying to figure out what it really truly means to love someone. Philosophers have been...

talking about this for centuries, trying to understand what love is or is not. And especially if you were raised in a family where like your parents really kind of didn't love each other. You know, maybe they said they loved each other, but their actions would speak otherwise. So we're all really trying to do the best that we can do with the tools that we have.

talking about this for centuries, trying to understand what love is or is not. And especially if you were raised in a family where like your parents really kind of didn't love each other. You know, maybe they said they loved each other, but their actions would speak otherwise. So we're all really trying to do the best that we can do with the tools that we have.

And really this book is just about giving tools. So how do you build self-awareness and also have the self-esteem? You're never going to raise your self-esteem by being too precious with yourself. You have to be willing to be brave and to look at the hard things, but also at the same time, acknowledge how strong you are. Like, let's just start with that.

And really this book is just about giving tools. So how do you build self-awareness and also have the self-esteem? You're never going to raise your self-esteem by being too precious with yourself. You have to be willing to be brave and to look at the hard things, but also at the same time, acknowledge how strong you are. Like, let's just start with that.

Like all the miles that you've walked, all the things that you've had to overcome, all the struggles, all the late nights that maybe you've had of being really anxious and yet you still managed to go to sleep and get up the next morning and get ready for work or get your kids ready. It takes a tremendous amount of resilience just to be a human being. So just acknowledge that.

Like all the miles that you've walked, all the things that you've had to overcome, all the struggles, all the late nights that maybe you've had of being really anxious and yet you still managed to go to sleep and get up the next morning and get ready for work or get your kids ready. It takes a tremendous amount of resilience just to be a human being. So just acknowledge that.

And at the same time, get really curious. We are very complex, weird creatures, you know, like we're all so nuanced and quirky. Don't think that you're so unique in your problems. Like you are not, these things that you worry about, millions of people are having the same worry at the same time. That's actually not what makes you unique. Your problems don't make you unique.

And at the same time, get really curious. We are very complex, weird creatures, you know, like we're all so nuanced and quirky. Don't think that you're so unique in your problems. Like you are not, these things that you worry about, millions of people are having the same worry at the same time. That's actually not what makes you unique. Your problems don't make you unique.

The other beautiful things about you are actually what make you unique. That's beautiful. Yeah. The healing happens when you can acknowledge the ways in which maybe you've been standing in your own way and contributing to whatever it is that you don't want to have in life.

The other beautiful things about you are actually what make you unique. That's beautiful. Yeah. The healing happens when you can acknowledge the ways in which maybe you've been standing in your own way and contributing to whatever it is that you don't want to have in life.

I've worked with hundreds of couples. I work with people at all stages of their relationship life. But a lot of singles are kind of like, you know, kind of the loudest because they want love. And I understand that. And so the first thing they work on is their mindset and their belief system. And so, yes, all the good ones are taken.

I've worked with hundreds of couples. I work with people at all stages of their relationship life. But a lot of singles are kind of like, you know, kind of the loudest because they want love. And I understand that. And so the first thing they work on is their mindset and their belief system. And so, yes, all the good ones are taken.

And yeah, I want to validate everyone who've had really hard experiences. So I'm going to tell a story, if that's okay. So I was out for dinner recently with some friends, one man and two women. and we were in New York City. I really care about this girl. She helps me out, and I'm just like, I want to get you partnered. What's going on? I wanted to sort of understand what was going on with her.

And yeah, I want to validate everyone who've had really hard experiences. So I'm going to tell a story, if that's okay. So I was out for dinner recently with some friends, one man and two women. and we were in New York City. I really care about this girl. She helps me out, and I'm just like, I want to get you partnered. What's going on? I wanted to sort of understand what was going on with her.

I said, well, what is it? What is it that you believe about men? She's like, well, I just think all men really just want one thing, sex. I was like, wow, interesting. I don't really think that's true. And then our guy friend who was there was like, that's really not true.

I said, well, what is it? What is it that you believe about men? She's like, well, I just think all men really just want one thing, sex. I was like, wow, interesting. I don't really think that's true. And then our guy friend who was there was like, that's really not true.

But she has this core belief and it's reinforced because she's gone on dates with men and they've sort of not really valued getting to know her and have made advances that were really inappropriate. But guess what? She gives him a second date. And then she gives him a second date and then it's even more reinforced. Mm-hmm.

But she has this core belief and it's reinforced because she's gone on dates with men and they've sort of not really valued getting to know her and have made advances that were really inappropriate. But guess what? She gives him a second date. And then she gives him a second date and then it's even more reinforced. Mm-hmm.

And I said to her, and she wanted me to be really brutally honest with her. I said, first of all, that's actually not true. Sure, it's true for some, but it's actually not true. There are actually men out there who will be very attracted to you in a way that they want to know more about you. Like they're drawn to you. They're magnetized to you.