Jinger Duggar
speaker
260 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Jan 2025
Jinger Duggar’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Or we don't know what to do. But we were not going to stay there.
We were going to do whatever we had to get out of there. Yeah. It was a hard decision to make because as a people pleaser, you just feel bad because she also was like, she was there talking to us. It wasn't like, you know, it's her house. So we talked about it and we came up with a plan that we were going to go back and tell her, Hey, this is not what we expected.
We thought we had the entire house is our first time using Airbnb. And so that's what we did. And whenever we told her that, then she was like, well, you should have read the description. Maybe it was, you know, I'm like, it was in the description or something.
I don't know if it was or not, but they didn't say a guy was going to be laying on the couch and you could lock the door and there's Rose in the backyard, you know? So. we, we basically were just like, okay, like I don't, I don't know what to do. And we said, well, we're just so sorry, but, um, we just, we can't stay. Cause this is like basically like a second honeymoon for us.
We were newly married. We just wanted our own space. And she's like, I understand, but, um, you should have read the description. She's like, she was very kind though. She did give us some of our deposit back, which was a blessing, but we didn't get it all back. Right. So we were like,
anyhow and then she proceeds to she was like well if you're not staying here where are you staying and I was literally looking at hotels at the time she grabbed my phone out of my hand she grabs your phone grab my phone out of my hand that's creepy and she starts looking through oh nope that's a bad area this is a bad area okay you need to go here yeah
Because it was like, what's happening?
It was insane. So we made it out. And I think in that, though, I don't know. I always would feel so bad to say no to somebody. To tell them, okay, I'm not going to be able to...
you know stay here or whatever it is like if it's a sketchy doctor's office and they're that also happened to me oh yeah about to draw blood and it was like hot in there and it was like in a sketchville and you're just like why are we here yeah but they're like why are you leaving and i was like okay we'll wait for the doctor jeremy's like get out we're gonna like we can't we can't
stay, you know? So those types of things, I'm always like trying to be accommodating, trying to make everybody happy. And I realized at the end of the day, it's not worth it. You can't, you can't just continue to, um, accommodate everyone, even at, you know, the safety of your, your own lives. Right. Like it's just not good.
I think growing up in the setting that we had talked about last time, just of the teachings of Bill Gothard, a lot of that was like, okay, we are supposed to be peacemakers, especially as women. We're supposed to keep our husbands happy, and so just doing whatever they want us to do and say...
A lot of those things were kind of playing into my people pleasing already and giving me even a deeper foundation of like, okay, this is how I need to please everyone around me. And so being, you know, agreeable, being helpful in every way and not thinking twice about what I actually think. And so even when we were first married, I noticed it in a lot of ways because it's
Jeremy would ask me like, Hey, where do you want to go to dinner? Or do you want, what do you want for lunch? And I would just be like, whatever you want, babe. Cause I was just trying to keep them happy. And, um, and that was something that I saw just throughout my growing up years, but it wasn't until I went to write Becoming Free Indeed that that I realized how much of a people pleaser I was.
And that started showing up everywhere because in that book, I was going to be exposing this horrible teaching that was leading us to a very bad place. And me, my friends, loved ones, and it was terrifying for me to be able to speak up against that because I knew it was gonna ruffle people's feathers. I knew that it was not gonna be the easiest thing for everyone to hear.
And that was the thing that really really made me see like, wow, I am so consumed with what they think about me that I'm not even willing to speak up for those who are in, who are still in that place. And that was the moment that I think it kind of dawned on me. It was like a light bulb moment because I felt like for so many years, I was like, I could never do that.
I could never speak up against this teaching because I it's just too hard as a people pleaser. Like it's just too hard for me. And I kept thinking, Oh, you know, I know this friend who could do it because they're really bold, but that's never going to be me.
But then when no one else spoke up about it, then I realized I have to, like, it came to the point where I knew that that was something I had to do. And so I think that that moment really was transformative for me because no longer was I able to just live in that comfort and of keeping everybody happy with me.
I knew, okay, the second this is released, it can cause issues and I have to be okay with that.
Oh, yeah, totally. So it was like my now one of my best friends. This is like when I was first getting to know her. Right. So like she asked if she could stop by my house and it was like last minute. So she comes in and. I was standing there talking to her. I was already thinking in my mind, like, okay, she asked me to come over and I'm going to say yes, but my house is not that clean.
And that's always the first thing that comes to mind as a mom, like your house will be spotless. It will look so good. And no one comes over for two days. And then the second that somebody wants to come last minute, it's a wreck, right? That's how it always happens. And they, it can look like, man, I never cleaned my house, but you just wouldn't know what a clean freak I actually am.
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