Jinger Duggar
speaker
260 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Jan 2025
Jinger Duggar’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
So you just have to come on the right day. Um, well, my friend comes over and she's chatting with me and I was like, this is so nice. I'm so glad I had her come over. And then I turn around and her little baby is on the floor and she's getting under the table and eating old dried Cheerios that may have been from the day before. And I was just like, oh. So I felt so bad.
And I quickly apologized to mom. I was like, I'm so sorry. My floors are so dirty. So when she was there, I just went and got a broom and started trying to pry them off with the dustpan. I was just like, you know, they get stuck. I was scraping off these old Cheerios off the floor. And she's like, it's fine, Ginger. Don't worry about it. We're just happy to be here. And she was so chill.
And we had the best conversations that day. And the sweetest time. And that actually... it actually transformed my mind and my mindset and thinking because I thought, okay, I could have like traded down. I could have just said like, okay, my house is not clean. It's not perfectly clean. And I just don't want you to see that I don't have everything together.
But in that time, the way that she responded to kind of like disarmed me. And I was like, okay, she's not like judging me for this. She might later, but no, she's not judging me in the moment. And she was being a true friend.
And after that, it was actually really cool. Cause like the closer friend friendship would be, you know, started to form and this friendship really took off. And now she's the one who comes to my house. Like if I have something that a project, then she'll come to my house and be like, okay, I have an hour, let's tackle it. And then I'll go to her house.
So we switch off all the time on projects that we need to have done, or like she needs help cleaning your house. So I'll pop over for an hour with, you know, Evie and it's great. Like, It's actually built more of like a genuine friendship where we don't feel like we have to have everything all together. We can look a mess. Our house can be a mess. Our kids cannot be have it all together.
But we don't care because that's what genuine friendship is, is in that place of us not just trying to keep a front of who we want people to think that we are. But they're able to actually come into our life and see, okay, they don't have it all together. I don't either. We don't have to keep up this front. And that's how I've now had the best friendship with my friend.
That was really, really sweet. That is so good. Yeah. Cause we do initially, but yeah, we do initially just think like, Oh, they're going to think so much less of us if we don't have everything together. And if we don't keep up this like facade of who we think we're supposed to be, And I think in that time we do lose ourselves. And like you were even saying, some of it can be a survival thing.
Like it really can be in, in how we process and we can think, okay, like, you know, there are times where maybe you have to keep somebody happy with you because they're not a healthy person to be around. And so you just have, you feel like you have to like keep them happy until you can get out of that situation. And like that can be another coping mechanism that we try to use.
Um, but it also is like there, there are different sides to it, but when it comes to genuine friendship, you're not able to build that unless you let people into the messy sides of your life as well as the good sides. And so that's something that it's so hard for all of us to do every single day.
For sure. Yes. A hundred percent. I think for me in particular, like that is definitely something I was so insecure for so many years, which led me to some bad places because even with the way that I was viewing eating and things like that, I struggled with like just not eating enough. And it was, it was because I thought I was too fat and I wasn't.
And it was a thought process of like wanting to belong and wanting to have those friendships that were genuine. And, At some point we realized, okay, well, we were designed for community. That's a good thing. We weren't designed to live on an island by ourselves. We're supposed to be in community with other people. But when sin entered the world, that was broken. And so now...
community can be flawed. We, people will let us down. And so we're afraid of that. We're afraid of their rejection. We fear that if we show them, you know, the side of me struggling, or maybe I don't look as pretty as I want to be, then I'm not going to be accepted.
Um, or I have to have designer clothes to like, to have people notice me and things like that, where we can fall into these tendencies of, um, wanting so desperately to be liked by people and That that desperation leads us to bad places. And it can be where we feel like, okay, now I'm so consumed with myself.
I'm so consumed with what everybody around me thinks that ultimately all I care about is myself. I don't even care about you as my friend because I'm thinking, what can I get out of you? What can I take from you instead of what can I give to you? And so I think that that is something that I struggle with for so many years, just wanting to be liked.
And growing up in the setting that I was in, you know, it didn't feel easy to be liked in that because you were awkward. you know, you come from a large family, who else does? Like I had a lot of people around me who did, but then I'm wearing skirts when I play sports in the community. It just feels weird, right?
There are a lot of things that were just, you're trying to fit in, you're trying to figure out who you are. And I think a lot of that people pleasing the tendencies of that, um, were even stronger maybe because I was, I was already awkward and not fitting in.
Yeah. I think as I was in the ages of 13, 14, 15... I just saw like, okay, I had friends who naturally were like super skinny and I would look at these girls and think, okay, well I would compare myself to them. And I was actually pretty skinny at that point. Like I was, I didn't have, I wouldn't gain weight easily, but I thought I might.
And it was that fear of just like, I wasn't as skinny as them, but I was still like healthy, you know? And I think that just the comparison that started to happen in my mind, I didn't, think properly about myself, I kept thinking, well, I'm just not pretty enough or I'm not skinny enough. So I would just try to wake up later in the day and try to avoid meals and things like that.
And I felt miserable because I was just thinking like, okay, I don't want to, I don't want to eat. Or I would think if I went to somebody else's house that I'd be like, well, what are we going to eat? Am I going to have something that's going to actually not make me fat? Or is this like, you know, that was my thought process was constantly about food.
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