Joey Diaz
speaker
3,386 appearances
6 recordings
3 series
first heard Jan 2024
last heard 10 Jun
Joey Diaz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Right. Pedophile and being gay is two different fucking things.
Now, the way I grew up, you know, the Cuban men's side of me was supposed to... Right. The pre-revolution Cubans. Right. Italians, too. Catholics. They won't go in a room if there's a gay man in the room. I always thought that was... The fuck? You can't be in... I won't go in there. Why? Because you're a machismo type of dude? So that... But my mother...
was the one that goes, no, they're fucking... And then we had a gay guy in our neighborhood. I told you about this guy. He worked with my mother. He was a designer on Broadway for some plays. He would design the carpet. But at night, he sold coke. It was like 1975, and he would come to the bar, and I knew he was gay. His name was Madin.
We call him Madin and Maricón because that's what that means in Spanish. Maricón means fag in Spanish. So that was his open name in the Cuban community. But one day he came into my mother's bar and there was two bookies. I was like a kid. I was playing that shuffleboard. Remember when you play the sawdust and you spray it? I'm playing the shuffleboard. And he was right there.
And the two bookies were in the corner. And the one guy goes, look who it is. And this motherfucker pulled out a .32. Oh, Jesus. And he goes, listen, I'm going to tell the both of you that unless you suck my dick or I fuck your ass, you don't have the right to call me Martin the Fag. So say it again, I'm going to shoot both of these. And my mom is yelling at him, Martin, Martin, Coco's behind you.
If they start shooting at each other, I'm right here. I lift my head up. I'm like, oh, and Martin's like... And all of a sudden, Martin left. So the next day, I guess he called my mother to apologize. And Martin, my mother made Martin come and apologize to me. And when he opened the door, and he was like, I'm very sorry about pulling out the gun, I go... Fuck that. You're my new Charles Bronson.
I gave him a fucking hug, and he became my best friend after that. And I respected him because he was going through hate. Yeah, real hate. In the mid-'70s, he would come back once a week with a black eye or a busted lip. He went to a bar in the village, and there'd be guys waiting for him on the way out. And I always respected that dude. Like, always respected him for that.
Oh, yeah.
It's so wrong. There's nothing. Listen, I see it and it doesn't bother me.
Scott. No. The football player. Oh, yes. Scott. That's his first name. Now we got to work on his last name. God damn it. Scott.
No. That's going to drive me nuts. Somebody from Houston wouldn't know. Because I don't want to call somebody online and have to describe them. And then people go, oh, you described Scott.
How did he die? I don't know. Look at him with Craig Ferguson.
Always.
But here's the problem. Here's what I felt from Scott. Because I met him in Houston, and then we connected in L.A. in like 2000. When he hugged me, I didn't feel threatened. No, not at all. When Jeff Scott hugged me. Never. I never felt threatened. No, no, no, no, no, no. I have to. Eric Rocha, when he hugs me, the kid at the comedy store, I hug him with all my fucking heart.
And I don't even feel that type of shit. I never felt that.
I'm pretty sure that's the story. When do they give you blockers to sexual offenders? When do they give you that?
Like I said, it's a different world out there, my friend.
Oh, my God.
That's where the strike happened in Jersey, all over with the Teamsters, with the Longshoremen. Yes. Because they know it. They don't have much left. They don't have much time left. They don't have much time left. It's fucking crazy how industry has just dwindled in this country. I know. You know, and Americans really don't see that. See, because everybody's fucking into traveling and being cool.
The gift that I had from doing comedy was I really got to see the country. I really got to see the ins and outs. And when I was a feature actor, I would ask questions. You know, like when you don't sit in a hotel all day and you just go out and you go to a movie theater and you ask questions. And people tell you, oh, my God, that's a great restaurant. Go there.
Showing 101–120 of 3,386 · page 6 of 170
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