Joey Diaz
speaker
3,386 appearances
6 recordings
3 series
first heard Jan 2024
last heard 10 Jun
Joey Diaz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.
Appearances
You know what the real problem is out there? Let me tell you what the real problem is. I didn't realize it until I fucking left. What? That everybody's too busy tapping themselves on the back.
When the fires happen, those three women or whatever the fuck, the chief and whatever, I'm looking at them and I'm like, look at them. They all got gel in their hair. They all got a tattoo on their neck. God forbid. God forbid they can't be cool for just one fucking minute. God forbid. And that's the problem you have out there. It's too many people. I'm so great.
This is my idea and it's great and it's going to work. It's not working. You're right. But you're too stupid to say, you know what? This ain't working. Their egos are so big, they don't have the heart to go, this ain't working. You're right.
Like Vito's lover in The Sopranos. Remember he was a fireman?
2007, I think.
Do you remember the kid from Houston? Which one? The guy that used to always wear football shirts. Yes. Did he die? He passed away. That was my brother.
I loved him.
With the little hat on. You're going to remember his name. And he'd come up to you and give you a hug all the time.
Did he talk about being gay on stage? No, but he told me he was gay all the time. Oh, yeah. Well, he was gay as fuck. He would go to those army things just to fuck men.
Yes.
Always football jerseys.
No, I loved him to death. He just hung out with us. I loved that dude to death. It didn't even matter to me that he was... Listen, that's never mattered to me. You got to remember, I was a Judas Priest fan in high school. That dude's as gay as hell. First time I saw him... Nobody knew. Isn't that funny? I fucking knew in 79. Nobody comes out with a little hat with a whip.
You know, I saw him at the Palladium. I'm like, that dude is gay. Oh, my God. Did you ever read... You just have to try to read his book. Really? Jimmy Florentine gave it to me. You have to try to read it. Is it crazy? I'll just tell you one story. There was a guy in Chicago, like a stylist. They used to tell him he wanted dick. Always bust. You know those people, those women? Come on, Joe.
Come on. You know. And you're like, come on. It's never going to happen. And he said finally he got pissed off one day. And he took the guy up on his offer. He goes, I fucked him so hard I blew out his O-ring. I had to go to the hospital. I'm reading this card. This is my type of fucking guy.
No. He never left the town. No. He fell apart at high school. And here's the weirdest thing about Judas Priest. What? His writing. That's what I fucking died about, his writing. Because he would write, and you're thinking he's writing about a woman. He's writing about assholes. He's writing about a man. And he has a song called Burning Up that is so fucking over the top. I know you feel the same.
I know you feel the flame burning deep inside of you. Burning you up. It's called chlamydia. Breaking you down. breaking you out in a cold sweat. But when you lose control of your very soul, your desire takes over. You'll feel the heat wave. You'll answer my way, and suddenly you'll know that you're burning up. Ooh. That is a bad month. When I heard that, I'm like, oh.
It's like a satellite.
This is 1980. This is on a hell-bent for leather tour.
Hot, hot gay love coming at you. When I read those lyrics, I'm like, that's the most brilliant fucking thing.
It's 2025. I can't see you. You know, it's all around us. If you're still hating, you got a fucking problem.
Showing 81–100 of 3,386 · page 5 of 170
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